Today just sucked. I had a horrible night at work to boot. I was already pissy and moody, and then every (not exaggerating...EVERY) customer was uptight and whinny....yup fool moon!
I missed my guitars for tonight, and making someone else laugh or smile. It's hard to make someone else laugh and smile when you're a giant storm cloud. I'm calling on account of rain.
Tomorrow I'm going back to my schedule, and dropping by to see my friend and his family. I hope they're okay....nevermind, that was a dumb statement...of course they're not!
Death just sucks! It sucks for everyone. Sometimes, it is a blessing, for old people, b/c they're usually ready to move on, and loved ones are willing to let them go.
But when someone so young and brimming with potential dies, it's just a shock and a heartbreaking experience. It sucks for friends and family, and all the others that knew and cared for him.
You feel angry and numb, and sad. You want to punch a wall just to feel something. I had a dear friend's brother choose to end his life. I knew the whole family and grew up with them. The brother, I did not know as well as his older brother and sister. But we were on a first name base, and I thought he was a wonderful boy...so full of life and love.
I haven't seen him in a few years, so I don't know what happened. I just wish I had seen him and said that I do love him. I love his whole big, goofy family. I'm sad for his whole family and wish I could just reach in and take the pain away. It's heart-wrenching to lose a son, brother, friend, by accident....
But it's worse when they chose to end it all. You start to wonder if there was something you could have done to stop it...something you missed. And that's the worst feeling, thinking back to the last time I saw him and say, "I wonder if he started feeling that way then...could I have noticed or spoke up?"
So, I ask you to please say a special prayer for my friend and his family. They are dear to my heart.