Day 24

I was at work today, it was pretty hairy. I have a friend getting married at the hotel, and she has people coming in.

I was so excited...until all of her people started coming in, and they seem to have the wrong room types. They are all supposed to have suites, and I'm getting the brunt of the people. They're not happy and very demanding. Which, yes I would be too, however, when I showed them the proof on the contract, they were still pissed off.

So, I was going to e-mail my friend about it, when I checked my myspace, she messaged me too asking the same thing. I told her to bring her contract in and we'll take a look...they're not much else I can do.

And before work, I was in the shower, when I heard the doorbell. I thought about ignoring it, but then there was a knock too. So, I turn off my WARM shower and head to the door dripping wet and cold. I open the door to find an older teenage girl, probably 16 or 17 and a little girl, probably 8ish. I just have my floating, dripping head out the door.

This girl asked if I had a brown boxer dog. I said no. She proceeded to tell that MY dog got out and bit their dog....

I cut her off before she could finish. "That's impossible, my dog's been inside for over..." She cut me off, "Yes, it was your dog, a brown boxer."

"I do NOT own a boxer, I have a German Sheppard." I'm trying to get these girl off my porch so I could get back in the shower. They kept insisting that it was my dog. Finally, I open the door wide and show them Koda in his kennel. I think the towel covered most of my body! lol. But the girls looked at Koda and the younger one goes, "Oh....no, that's not the dog.

No sorry or anything they just kinda walked away. I would have helped them find the dog, but I was too pissed at the time to do anything. And so, I just shut the door VERY firmly.

Anyoo, off to bed!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 23 Emotions and Accomplishments

I missed Yoga this morning because Xander was up until 4:30 a.m. It was horrible! But I was able to go with him to the Mommy and Me Yoga class for free. Xander seems to like it, but he was bouncing all over the place. We'll see!!

We had our neighbor's over. They're a hoot, I really like them. They are rough around the edges, and since the dad up and left, things are really quite over there. They were trying hard to make it better for the kids, in a good neighborhood, good school, etc...and the dad didn't seem to want that. He's now apparently back into crime and doing drugs. I'm sad, but not at the same time. They seem to be happier and doing better without him.

It's times like this that make me thankful for Aaron and all that he does for us. He loves us so much and keeps me very grounded. I'm so use to doing thirty things at once and not getting any of them done! He helps me focus on one task at a time. I'm still trying to do that! lol

Speaking of focusing, I was getting worried about my deadline for school coming up so quick and not having the time to finish. I called my school to plead with them to extend my deadline. I was prepared with, "I've moved three times in the past year, I've had surgery, working graveyards, both my Mother-in-law and my Father-in-law having surgery...etc" Though, My mom's and dad's surgery's didn't really affect me, I was willing to use stretching of the truth....

Didn't need to! They said it's just a "suggested deadline" and that I should continue my studies, that I have plenty of time! Wooohoo!! I was sooooo relieved!!! So, I'm changing one of my goals for school to just finish it within a certain time frame....I don't know what time frame yet, I'll have to decide...I'm thinking 6 months!

And Xander's doing REALLY good on his potty-training. He went ALL DAY in his under-roos without wetting them!! I was soooo excited!!!

Aaron keeps talking about having another one (for the past 4 months or so...), but I'm not ready yet. And it seems like he keeps bringing it up, like he's pushing me into it. He mentioned it again on Sunday night right before work. I told him that we could talk about it later, when I got home from work. He asked, "Why do you always runaway from the subject?" and I forgot what exactly I said, but it was something along the lines of, "Because I need to..."

So, when I got home, He was still awake...it's usually a 30% chance he's awake. And I told him that I feel like he's pressuring me, and I'm not ready.

And the reasoning's behind it, is not because we can't afford it, it's true, we can't. But it's two major things. One, we can't spend enough time with Xander as it is....how is he going to feel when less time is spent on him?

Second, I hurt, every damn day I hurt. Some days are better than others. And this is WITH medication. I have injections in my back monthly, I take muscle relaxants, nerve relievers, and pain killers daily! If and when I get pregnant, the only thing I can do is my injections in my back. Which, they help, a TON! But my main concern is my muscle relaxants. I stopped taking them for two days, and I could barely move the second day.

I'm so scared. I hurt for four months, actually about a year and four months. Two months while Xander was still inside, and then the rest afterwards. I would cry all the time. I hurt so bad. And I tear up just thinking about going back to that place again. To hurt so bad, you can't pick up your child is very frustrating. To walk so stiff, that all you need is some green paint and bolts to look EXACTLY like Frankenstein...you even moan like he does because you just hurt.

Aaron wants us to go to the temple and pray about it. I keep avoiding it, because I just am so scared.

I don't want to go there again, I can't. I won't make it.

So, some accomplishments and some emotions today.

Day 22

I'm really enjoying my yoga! I do love it so...I'm becoming more flexible all the time!!

We had a budget meeting with my bishop and my bishops' wife. She helping us start a budget. He is having us fill out a form to help us out and them he wants us to meet again on Sunday briefly to see what's going on, and what we do need, which is pretty much rent right now.

We were going to need food, but our friend helped us with that!!!

Anyhoo, off to bed!!!

Day 21, A BLESSING!!!!

Okay, so my friends that are moving to Qatar, I offered to take their son over-night tonight so they could finish packing and have some alone time.

So, Jackson is hanging with us, and the fam came over for dinner too, we had enchiladas!! Yum!!

And the big blessing? They pretty much gave us ALL their food from the freezer and fridge, and also alot of canned food!! I was sooooo thankful, I almost cried. I told her that we're actually seeing the bishop tomorrow to get some help, and here she comes with TWO huge Tupperware bins FULL of food!!!

So, I'm so thankful, and I know the Lord works in great ways in life and I know that my friends were inspired to give us their food they couldn't use.

So, now, I'm sitting here and enjoying their son one last time!!! Hopefully they will go to bed soon! I'm tired! lol

Day 20!!

Wow! Already 20 days!? Sheesh!!

I'm really tired, so this will be quick. Did my normal daily's, but nothing else.

My shoulder's hurting pretty good today! *bleck*

Day 20

Today was church! I LOVE going, it's fun!!

Sad news though, my friends, the ones that are moving next month to Qatar, are actually moving on Wed!!! Her hubby just informed her! I think she misunderstood, or got the dates wrong....I'm not sure...I was too sad and not quite paying attention when she told me. lol

So, we're going to get together one more time.

I worked 4-12 today, so I'm for sure tired! And now, I'm off to cut Aaron's hair....oh joy!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 19

Today was a *blah* day. I was feeling better, didn't want to eat much. Got to work just ravenous!!!

Work was okay, rather slow, but I kept myself as busy as I could, b/c I don't want to be sent home early....I can't afford it!!

After doing the bills, etc. I looked at our account and saw how much we had. I then said, "crap, we still have to pay rent." which, we'll pay next week. However, Aaron's checks next week, will be around $600. We're going to be about $200-300 short on rent.

*sigh*

We're going to talk to our Bishop tomorrow for some help. What can you do? But hey, that's what the church's welfare system is for....to help those that are down.

Chelle }}i{{

I think I made up for all my dealings yesterday. For I was up all night reading (I couldn't sleep anyways. been having trouble!)

And then puking this afternoon. I took the day off from work. And I stayed in bed as much as Xander would let me. He watched movies and I read.

It was kinda comical, I have my head in the toilet, trying to push the quizzical one away. "You okay mommy? What's wrong?! Ew! That's gross!!!" And then a few seconds later he disappears b/c the phone is ringing. "Hello?" Oh crap! He learned to answer the house phone! Something he has yet to discover....surprisingly....I'm trying to yell for him to drop the phone. I'm dry heaving at this point, and Xander hands me the phone.

Thankfully I heard the machine click on. *phew!*
So, I'm not counting today for my dailies....except I did finish Twilight...in less than 24 hours. Yeah, scary, I know!

Day 18

Today was good, but it rained alot! It messed up some play date arrangements, but we ended up at a McDonald's Playplace for a couple hours while Xander and Jackson played. It was a lot of fun!!

I woke up at 10 am today and went "crap! I missed my yoga class!!" and then my phone alarm went off and I thought "what on earth?" Xander had woken me up in the first place and grabbed my phone. "Mommy! You're phone's ringing!" He shoved it in my face and I took a look.

"Visiting Teaching, 10 am today." I jumped up, sad a bad word in my head (thankfully not audible!) and ran around frantically. Can I get away without a shower? NOPE!! I got Aaron up and asked him to dress and feed Xander. And I rushed to the VT place to meet my partner, who is also the 1st counselor in the Primary and an old friend. I was praying she was still at the one address, b/c I would have a hard time finding the other one, being I don't have a ward directory, or who the next girl was that we were visiting. So, thankfully, they were just leaving. I apologized and we went to our next appointment, where I gave February's lesson instead of January's. Oh well!!! Lol.

Then the playdate and trying to force Xander down for a nap...my favorite time of the day! He didn't go down until almost 5!!! A little later than normal (only by 3 hours.) And we only slept for a couple, b/c if not, he'd been up all night instead of his normal midnight time.

So, I''ve missed all my Yoga this week. I think it's the time. I'm having a hard time with it. I'm going to try and switch it when I can!!! Going to bed at 4 and getting up at 5:30 is NOT working!! lol

Oh, I did start on my books. My Visiting teachee let me barrow Twilight. I'm very excited and have already read the first couple of chapters!!!!

Day 17

Today was a little rough.

Xander was horrible. He hit and spit at me at the store. And THEN, when we did a play date with some friends....Trying to get some quality time before they move to Qatar, yes the country in the middle easy....he busted out in a FULL-OUT TYRAID. It was horrible! I'm trying to keep as much composure as I could while trying to reason with a screaming 3-year-old.

He hit me several times (and he is getting strong!) and spit on me several times. I was just about to cry. Thankfully, I got him out the door and in the car, where he cried the whole way home and in time-out.

He was a little better tonight, but we still had a couple time-outs. But they weren't full on.

I thought, I need to be home with Xander and spend more time with him. Then I remembered I have four days off next week. A blessing in disguise? Probably.

Anyhoo. I should get some sleep. Haven't slept all night, and Yoga starts in a couple hours!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 16

Well, Koda's doing REALLY well today. He was running around the yard, which made me put him back inside. Poor guy. He's going to be stir crazy! He already is!!

Work was pretty busy tonight. Which is always a good sign! We have the Safari Club here. Which is just a whole bunch of hunters that get together. It's a HUGE event. People come from all over the world just to do this. I've meet a lot of people from South Africa and England.

I'm not to thrilled about the Safari Club. Most of them hunt for sheer sport and nothing else. I'm okay with hunting, but only if you need it/use it for food. But just to stuff it and mount it. Not cool.

Anyhoo, off my soap box! lol

Have a good night! Off to Yoga in a few hours!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 15

I'm kinda lagging in my guitar and scripture reading the past few days. But I've been really worried about Koda.

He's doing much better though! He was all bouncy today. I felt bad for having to lock him back up. But I have to!

I got some bad news tonight at work. They cut my hours next week. I'm only working three days. I was working four.

*sigh*

What hard times we live in!!! Aaron put on Cinderella Man tonight. It's such a good movie. It gives us hope that anyone can get back up on their feet from hard times. And things are going to start being pretty rough!

But I have faith. Faith in God, in Aaron and in US. It'll work out....eventually.

Day 14

Kinda slacked today, but good excuse!

I was at the vet with Koda. He's doing much better though. $209 later, we find out that he has a mild spine injury. His spine is bent down in the back by the hips a little bit. And every time he moves, it moves up and pinches the nerves in his spinal chord, causing a lot of pain.

Good news though, the Dr. said that with some anti-inflammatories, pain meds and 2 weeks of bed confinement in his kennel followed by 4 weeks of "light exercise".

Koda is feeling a little better. He's going up the steps from the backyard to the house again. Last night he refused to get in the house, and we had to carry him in. So, this is a start!! :-)

Koda is a German Shepard Mix, but he looks like a full blooded German Shep, just a little smaller. He's a really good dog. He's great with Xander and is always gentle with him, even letting Xander win at tug-o-war. lol

We have to go back in two weeks to see if he's better. Which is gonna cost me another $150 that I don't really have.

*Sigh* oh well! He's family! It's worth it!!! :-)

Day 13

Couldn't sleep, so I got up and went to get my hair cut and to Walmart, where I got these crystal light, but walmart brand things. I'm gonna start working on quiting drinking so much coke. I don't need it!!

I got home from work tonight and Koda, always whines when I get through the door...well he started crying...At first I told him to be quiet, but quickly realized, he's hurting!

After a half hour, I've narrowed it down to his hips. I'm pretty sure. But he's okay if he doesn't walk or is laying down. So, we're gonna wait until tomorrow when the vet opens up and not the emergency one, b/c we for sure can't afford that one!!

So, we moved him to our room instead of his usual spot by the front door in the living room (Aaron's gone such odd hours, I have Koda there to warn me). I'll be keeping a close watch on him tonight for sure!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 12

We got alot accomplished today! I feel very good!!!

I took Xander to the park and had a play date with another mom. It didn't turn out too well, b/c Xander was hitting, and finally had time-out, then we finally just had to cut it short and leave.

Work was busy tonight!!! It was great! It makes the time go by sooooo much faster!!!! I looked at my watch, "Oh, it's lunch already?" I looked at my watch again, time to go home! Woohoo!!!!!!!

Yeah! I just found my camera! lol I know, random, but it was sitting there under Aarons' clothes!! woohoo!!!

Well, Aaron's heading for Fed-ex, I'm heading off to play my guitar and then bed, I'm pooped!!!

Day 10

So, I'm not counting yesterday. I was too tired. lol

Today, I went to Jason Bergam's funeral. I didn't know Jason well, but I knew his older brother and sister well.

I cried for two hours straight. I learned alot about Jason, aside from all the few times I said "hey Jason"

Everyone was dressed in black and everyone crying...missing him, but saying "we'll see you soon, in the next life."

And that got me thinking. I actually had this thought for a while, but when I die, I don't want ANY BLACK!!! I want all bright colors, and a BIG party. Lots of foods and music that I love.

Anyhoo,
Have a good night!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 9

Boring day at work!!! I went after work with my friend Tiffany and we went to Walmart b/c I had somethings to get and she had nothing better to do! lol

We were trying to find a nice journal so I could keep a hard copy of all my songs, but couldn't find one. :-(

We did find the tape player and the ipod alarm clock I needed! And also a cute, sexy pair of boy shorts for Aaron!! Well, I wear them, but they are really for him!! hahaha!

Oh well! Off to Yoga in a few hours!!!

Day 6...

Doing pretty well on my goals. I was really tired today, and didn't get up until 3 pm!!! WOW!!!!

I did get a new phone yesterday and a new number. I love it! It's a powder-blue Palm Centro...I love palms!!!! :-)

Work today was horrible. We have this BMX Bike tournament in town, and a lot of them are staying with us...

YOU CANNOT RIDE YOUR BIKE THROUGH THE HALLS!!!!!!!! Ugh!

I was hollerin' at tons of kids to get off their bikes. There was even a grown, bearded-faced man that actually stuck him tongue out at me when I told him to get off. Oh, REAL mature!!!

I did however finally get my upsell, or commission check that was LONG over-due and after I cashed it, the roulette table was calling my name...ugh! So I placed a couple of bets and it landed on my numbers TWICE! I walked away with $74!!! I couldn't believe it! I NEVER gamble too! I haven't in so long, and I got VERY lucky! :-)

Anyhoo, got to finish my primary stuff and hit the hay!

Night!!!!!

Day *whatever* and Death...

Today just sucked. I had a horrible night at work to boot. I was already pissy and moody, and then every (not exaggerating...EVERY) customer was uptight and whinny....yup fool moon!

I missed my guitars for tonight, and making someone else laugh or smile. It's hard to make someone else laugh and smile when you're a giant storm cloud. I'm calling on account of rain.

Tomorrow I'm going back to my schedule, and dropping by to see my friend and his family. I hope they're okay....nevermind, that was a dumb statement...of course they're not!

Death just sucks! It sucks for everyone. Sometimes, it is a blessing, for old people, b/c they're usually ready to move on, and loved ones are willing to let them go.
But when someone so young and brimming with potential dies, it's just a shock and a heartbreaking experience. It sucks for friends and family, and all the others that knew and cared for him.
You feel angry and numb, and sad. You want to punch a wall just to feel something. I had a dear friend's brother choose to end his life. I knew the whole family and grew up with them. The brother, I did not know as well as his older brother and sister. But we were on a first name base, and I thought he was a wonderful boy...so full of life and love.
I haven't seen him in a few years, so I don't know what happened. I just wish I had seen him and said that I do love him. I love his whole big, goofy family. I'm sad for his whole family and wish I could just reach in and take the pain away. It's heart-wrenching to lose a son, brother, friend, by accident....
But it's worse when they chose to end it all. You start to wonder if there was something you could have done to stop it...something you missed. And that's the worst feeling, thinking back to the last time I saw him and say, "I wonder if he started feeling that way then...could I have noticed or spoke up?"
So, I ask you to please say a special prayer for my friend and his family. They are dear to my heart.

Day 5

Wow! Five days and still going strong...okay, well maybe not too strong! lol

I'm pretty tired tonight! I love the Yoga, but it's just so early!!! I'm actually trying to type while half asleep, something I don't recommend.

Good day just no nap, which really sucks!

And my best friend Mel came over tonight, I made dinner and we attempted to watch a movie, but I got so tired!! So, she just left....it was still tons of fun.

Anyhoo, too tired to write more!

Goodnight!!!
Chelle }}i{{

New Blog

Hello! Alright, I just started a new blog called Musical Musings. I wanted to have a seperate spot for my songs, so they don't get lost in the daily hum-drum of this blog.

So, go check it out!!!! When I get soem songs on there....not tonight! Lol

Chelle }}i{{

Day 4...*whew!*

Alright, I'm trying, I'm on day 4! Aaron said he was really proud of me, that he's seen a change in my attitude. That made me smile.

I had my injections in my back today. It sucks, but I forget how good I feel afterwards. It's not a "high" or anything like that, it's lidocaine. It numbs my back.

I did start Yoga today. That was fun! It was just soooo dang early!! I was up so late, I decided just to stay up the whole night. It was at 6:30 am. But it was fun, I wasn't sore at all, I felt relaxed, and I could defiantly feel the "Burn" in my abs! lol. I'm going again tomorrow, I'm excited!!

My sister-in-law is needing a new manager for her RV Park, and I thought instantly of my friend Dawn. She's been out of work for a month or two now. There are just no jobs here in Reno, and she's just about to run and go to Wal-mart....which hey, I've been there, done that. No one dreams of working for Wal-mart, it just happens and it sucks you in! Well, the interview went good, and she is only competing against one other person. *Crosses fingers* here's hoping!

After the interview, Dawn and I took Xander to the park, we talked more about the band. We're getting REALLY excited about it! She has a possible electric/lead guitar person. She also used to do Public Relations for local bands, and she has a lot of friends and we should be able to get some gigs....we just got to practice! lol

My friend, Sunny at work, she's Indian (from the country) and a WONDERFUL woman. I call her my "lunch buddy". She works on the opposite side of hotel, in the casino, and we met one day while at lunch. She was talking about her daughter (lives in Arizona) and how she wants to right a nice letter to her. She asked me to do it, "Because you write so wonderfully with all your poems." I thought that was neat, and I felt very honored to do this for her. So, we jotted down some ideas that she wanted on the letter. That is my goal for tomorrow. :-)

Xander and I played Hi-Ho Cherri-o tonight. He really dug that. He's had a problem counting 3-4-5-6. Always missing the 4 and 5. That was fun! :-)

I'm reading, for my daily scripture something by Sherri Dew (she's awesome!!!) called "If Life were Easy, it Wouldn't Be Hard." I really am liking it. My favorite so far was talking about taking your emotional baggage and getting rid of it. Gee, I wonder if I have any?!

Alrighty, he's begging me to read him a story..AGAIN and I still to play my guitar!!!!

Good Night!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 3!!!

*whew!* it went a little harder today! I couldn't sleep, and ended up going to bed at 5 a.m.!

I really tried hard to get up at 9...I set my alarm and complained to Aaron when I woke up at 10 that the alarm was broken. He said, "No, you've been hitting the snooze for an hour! ROFL!!!

I got through most of the day before I raised my voice to Xander....it was putting on a pull-up. He was running around half naked, the bottom half...I'm trying to catch him. Finally I had it.

It's Friday for me!! Woohoo! Two days off!!! And I start my yoga class in the a.m.! Ugh! Actually in about 3 hours! I need to hurry and get some sleep!!!

I was very excited about my ipod. I had some cd's stolen (I think) and sadly it was all my favorite artists and albums! I wasn't too worried, b/c I had them all backed-up on my computer...which crashed. I was very upset....I was now going to have to replace ALL the cd's and had NO money to do it!

Well, I was talking with my boss at work tonight, lamenting how to transfer things, b/c with an ipod it is a one way street. You put it on the ipod, and then you have to delete...no copying back to the iTunes....

HAHAHAHAHA!!! There is a FREE program online called iPod Copy Expert....It's the free trial, and it takes a little time to transfer everything...but hey!!! I'm getting ALL my songs back!!!

I'm so happy!!! :-)

Off to play guitar! I have to do that really quick! :D

Chelle }}i{{

Day 1 of 1001

*whew!* I was surprised, I did get alot done!!!

I did all my daily things. I made dinner for the boys, I called my mom (she wasn't home...lol). I even have started trying to get a band together.

I talked to my friend, Dawn, she plays base, and she's really excited. She would LOVE to do a band with me. I've been listening to the Bangels still, and I think it would be fun to be an all chick band. We don't have a lot of those anymore...and some of them are all "Popish". We're wanting more of a light to medium rock feel. :-)

I got up by 9, was dressed by 10, and we went to church. What will tomorrow bring?

Goodnight!!

Chelle }}i{{

Updated List.

Okay, so I've updated my list, and I think I'm going to start tomorrow, or, well, today, being it's already midnight. So, guess, here is my first post of my daily writings.

Some of my goals are short, others are longer. But some, I figure, if I stick to it for 3 months, it will become a habit, and I won't need the list to help me. We'll see!

I will start making my daily check list and go from there!!

Okay, off to do more Primary work and play my guitar!

Chelle }}i{{

New Year, New Me.

I have so many big dreams, I have so many things I need to do, and so many things I want to do.

I asked Aaron to do a list to. So we can start together. But I need to start by this Wed, because some of my goals are going to be started. And some are already in progress.

I'm excited about all the things I want to accomplish. I just hope I can!!!

I'm starting by making a list of all my weekly things and daily thing I need to do. I'm going to laminate them and then get a dry erase marker. That way, I can check them off as I go about my daily tasks.

I'm listening to the Bangels right now, and I forgot how fun they are!!!!!! lol

I will continue to update my list daily. I might tweak some of my goals. But as of right now, I think I'm good.

I will post my songs up here as well, and get going on my song writing, I miss it so much!!! :-)

But as for me right now? I need to go take care of my primary songs for tomorrow! I love my calling and I'm VERY excited church doesn't start until 11 now!!!

101 Things in 1001 Days

Alright! I got this from my friend, Ter'esa. It's a list of 101 Things that need to be completed in 1001 days.

I'm almost done with my list, and I just need to organize it a little before I head out and post it.

I'll explain everything here in a little bit. All the fun things I plan to do in my life, in the next 1001 days.

I really think it will be fun, and better myself as a person.

Have a wonderful day!

Chelle }}i{{

My Blogging...

Well, I'm just starting this, and got the idea from a friend. This is to be my musings of life, my daily journal if you will.

I'm keeping it private for reasons that i like my privacy, and I don't just want anyone viewing my personal life.

So, for those who I have invited, welcome to my inner most thoughts.