Yesterday was Ground Hog’s Day. It was my parent’s 34th Wedding Anniversary, the 2nd with my Dad gone. I am expecting child #2 and am horribly sick with a bad head cold. My husband is still recovering from surgery. It was also the Catholic Candlemas (Feast of the Presentation), celebrated by lighting candles all day as well as a New Moon. To top it off, my brother had to go in to have an emergency surgery to save a vein/artery connected for dialysis (called an access).
Needless to say, it was a horrible day. I was sick, nauseated, nervous, tired, sad…it was just a very disconnected, off-balance day. Talking with some dear friends, they mentioned root soup as well as the New Moon and Candlemas. So, I bought ingredients for root soup, pulled out a candle and waited for the moon.
When I got home, I found that my brother’s access was not savable, it had collapsed which means many more surgeries to come. Everything came to a head, I started to cry, I had had it!!! I missed my dad, I wanted to be with my brother, I was sick of being sick, I was worried about my husband’s pain!!!!!
Without much thought, I put on some music and started to clean my vegetables. As I stared at the golden beets, scrubbing the dirt off of it, I felt the earth, I felt peace. I felt connected to The Buddha and The Bodhi Tree, all these demons trying to bury me and all I did was touch something that grew within the earth to start feeling the peace. My heart started to warm. I looked up at the window, it was dark. The moon would be here soon. I wanted to go outside and be with the moon, but being it was so cold and I was so sick, I didn’t risk it. I lit my candle and laid my thoughts, my wishes, my prayers of health to all towards the moon and into the heavens.
The rest of the time, I spent thoughtfully chopping up the roots for the soup, I felt grateful. As I put the soup together and watched it come to a boil, I watched my worries boil with it rise like the steam and disappear. The aroma was soothing. The taste? Even better. As I sat with my boys over a nice bowl of soup, I felt very blessed, very grateful…I was again rooted.
Everything happens for a reason. It is our choice to wither and grow weak, or stand up, dig our roots deeper and tell the tempest that is trying to knock us down, “I will bend, but I will not be torn down!!!”
I was bent pretty low yesterday, the wind howled…But here I am, staying rooted while something special
grows inside my earth.