My Musings

A Warrior Goddess

2011-09-13T05:27:00.000-07:00

Life, Wisdom and War.

Roughly translated from Greek, that is what my daughter's name means. Zoey Athena. As I'm wrapping up the final hours where she will be in my womb (I am having a c-section in just about 24 hours from now), I am tingling with anticipation!

My husband jokingly at first said "let's keep it Greek, Athena" for her middle name. The more we thought about it, the more we liked it.

Her name, as with my son's came after thoughtful consideration as to the meanings behind the name. My son's name means "protector of human kind" and seeing him in his nearly 6 year old self (will be six the day after his little sister's birth) he lives up to his name completely. He's very selfless (as much as 6 year old can be) and is constantly looking out and helping others in need. He is so excited about his little sister and has already proclaimed to the world he will always be there to protect her.

Zoey means 'life'...Athena, for those who don't know is the Greek Goddess of wisdom, war and a bunch of other things such as courage, strength, arts, crafts and skill.

She has always been my favorite Goddess when studying Mythology. No, I am not pagan, nor do I necessarily believe in the actual existence of the Goddess Athena. I do, however believe in a God and Goddess moving and flowing as one being. I am LDS, in that faith we believe that we do have a Heavenly Mother, but we don't know her name. The reason, we believe is that God holds her in such high revere that he didn't want her name trampled on like his is today. Being we don't know her name, I feel like the name of an awesome Goddess is a way of showing respect and love towards her and my gratefulness of the divine feminine that I hold dear to my heart.

The most interesting part of it, is that of the "war" part. I have joked and others have too about her name meaning "war" and how that will reflect greatly in her teen years. But when looking further, the war part is the strategy part of battle, the discipline. Athena never delighted in blood shed, she is all for standing up and fighting for a cause and ending a conflict as quickly as possible...unlike her brother Ares.

This pregnancy has been a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. I have witnessed and been a part of some of life's greatest joys as well as life's deepest sorrows. In the last nine months, I have experienced physical and emotional pains from my health problems, my husband going through major surgery, financial woes and other personal struggles. I have witnessed dear friends go through deaths of spouse, parent and child...I have had friends go through divorce, through major surgeries, through other trying times. I have celebrated with many friends over pregnancy, births, weddings and other successes. I have become even closer with friends. I have never felt so guilty, so helpless, so dependent, so sad, so strong, so peaceful, so happily blissful.

And through it all, my baby girl has grown and experienced this all with me. Right now, she is kicking furiously, I think she already knows she's being brought into this world at such troublesome times, not giving up, showing me that she is one tough cookie, a fighter, a warrior.

So, it looks like already she is living up to her name. We couldn't have named her more aptly if we tried. She is indeed a Warrior Goddess.

The Finish Line Is In Sigh

2011-09-13T03:47:00.000-07:00

As my time being pregnant winds down to a matter of hours now, I sit in reflection.

The last few years in preparing for this little one to come has been one hell of a ride to say the least. When people say they are "planning" or thinking about trying to have kids, rarely is it years in the making. Mine took quite a few years of nudging from my hubby as well as my own physical and emotional changes.

When I was pregnant with my son, I had a beautiful pregnancy up until my 8th month when I was rear-ended. The last part was spent in agony being there wasn't much they could do to "fix me" while he was still in there. It took me a few years to even THINK about having another baby, I was so gun shy and in pain over everything. I finally had to tell my hubby one night to back off about having another baby. He's was more than eager and I emotionally wasn't.

Finally, a night arrived where I was coming to terms with the fact of another child...that was a little over two years ago. When I say coming to terms, I mean I was starting to be okay with the idea...I still wasn't quite ready to go for it. I had felt more at peace than I ever did with the idea, although still scared to death about it. But I knew in the back of my mind that there was another little spirit waiting to join our family.

The next day as I was heading to work, I was in another car wreck, this one, so much worse than the first. I won't go into details, but it sucked...and set me back in the process of trying for a baby. After about 6 months of heavy physical therapy and getting my pain back under control, out came my hubby again prodding and pressuring me. I was very angry and frustrated at him, myself and the universe. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and would have meltdowns on occasion when something would trigger the accident. I felt my hubby wasn't being supportive, that he didn't understand what I was going through (and how could he, he wasn't there?)...I was VERY angry at God...doing the "Why me?!" routine.

There was a low point in all of this...I was heading home from work and was in such agonizing pain while driving home, I did actually contemplate running my car into a cement divider, ending it all, right then and there. Something snapped me back into reality and I turned a corner.

Fast forward...I knew I wanted to have another child, I knew it was time to start talking and thinking about it. So, I talked with my pain doctor as well as my OB-GYN. They all were in agreement, I was perfectly healthy, female wise to try again...but my back problems would be a main concern. The conclusion: Be in the best physical shape possible before trying to conceive. They all said the same thing, "You're back is going to hurt, how much depends on how good of shape you're in."

That turned me down an amazing road that helped me develop even closer relationships with friends. Especially one in particular who I now call my sister. I looked for a sport to get into, something with an end goal. I was doing yoga at the time, but that wasn't enough.

Talking with my friend over it, she mentioned cycling and how she was doing a marathon race about 7 months from then. She challenged me to do it with her. I took the challenge and she helped me set goals, even helped me become a vegetarian in the process, something I NEVER thought I'd do. The marathon was to raise money for MS...and it just so happens that I have a friend, a young mother of two had been recently hit hard and diagnosed with this horrid disease. The marathon became a two fold mission.

I told my husband of this goal and promised that if all goes according to plan, after the marathon we'll start trying for baby number two. He put his full support in me, encouraging me along the way, even putting up with all the vegetarian meals I made.

Well, it started slow, cycling a few times around the neighborhood daily...then out passed the subdivision, soon across the city...I got up to 30 miles in one day. Within these months of training I dropped thirty pounds and 4 dress sizes. It was truly an amazing experience and I look forward to doing the marathon and training for it again and again.

With the marathon over, and my goals met, we started trying...I was really worried as during my training I had surgery after being diagnosed with Endoemteriosis...a painful female issue that can hinder pregnancy. A couple months in, and my heart started to hurt...I had finally come to grips with having another child and I felt like it was slipping through my fingers.

And then, right after Christmas, I discovered I was pregnant. We were so excited! What a great gift!!!

This pregnancy has been a rough one with heartaches of life and lots of pain and exhaustion, I know that come tomorrow morning, when I'm holding her in my arms, it'll all be worth it. All the pain, all the planning, all the ups and downs.

Staying Rooted

2011-02-03T10:28:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was Ground Hog’s Day. It was my parent’s 34th Wedding Anniversary, the 2nd with my Dad gone. I am expecting child #2 and am horribly sick with a bad head cold. My husband is still recovering from surgery. It was also the Catholic Candlemas (Feast of the Presentation), celebrated by lighting candles all day as well as a New Moon. To top it off, my brother had to go in to have an emergency surgery to save a vein/artery connected for dialysis (called an access).
Needless to say, it was a horrible day. I was sick, nauseated, nervous, tired, sad…it was just a very disconnected, off-balance day. Talking with some dear friends, they mentioned root soup as well as the New Moon and Candlemas. So, I bought ingredients for root soup, pulled out a candle and waited for the moon.

When I got home, I found that my brother’s access was not savable, it had collapsed which means many more surgeries to come. Everything came to a head, I started to cry, I had had it!!! I missed my dad, I wanted to be with my brother, I was sick of being sick, I was worried about my husband’s pain!!!!!

Without much thought, I put on some music and started to clean my vegetables. As I stared at the golden beets, scrubbing the dirt off of it, I felt the earth, I felt peace. I felt connected to The Buddha and The Bodhi Tree, all these demons trying to bury me and all I did was touch something that grew within the earth to start feeling the peace. My heart started to warm. I looked up at the window, it was dark. The moon would be here soon. I wanted to go outside and be with the moon, but being it was so cold and I was so sick, I didn’t risk it. I lit my candle and laid my thoughts, my wishes, my prayers of health to all towards the moon and into the heavens.

The rest of the time, I spent thoughtfully chopping up the roots for the soup, I felt grateful. As I put the soup together and watched it come to a boil, I watched my worries boil with it rise like the steam and disappear. The aroma was soothing. The taste? Even better. As I sat with my boys over a nice bowl of soup, I felt very blessed, very grateful…I was again rooted.

Everything happens for a reason. It is our choice to wither and grow weak, or stand up, dig our roots deeper and tell the tempest that is trying to knock us down, “I will bend, but I will not be torn down!!!”

I was bent pretty low yesterday, the wind howled…But here I am, staying rooted while something special
grows inside my earth.

My Mom Looks Up To Me!!!!!

2010-10-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

I was talking with my mom today on the phone. It started it out in the usual frustrating manner. She'll talk your ear off about random stuff that you've heard already. She'll then tell you the negative aspects of the goals that you are aiming for. She claims, "I am not a pessimist, I am a realist."

So, as our conversation continued, I became more frustrated with her. I started to express my frustration when she said something that floored me.

She told me that she doesn't mean to sound or come off as critical or harsh. She said she feels she was over-protective with my siblings and I. The reason? Fear and rejection. She said she had been involved in "Spectacular failures" in life and she didn't want us to feel the pain of that.

She told me how proud she was of me, that she looks up to me because I am so brave. She said she wishes she was braver, that she would go and do the things I do, that if I want to do it I will go and try it. If I fail, I say oh well and keep going. She said if she was presented with the opportunity to do a marathon, she wouldn't have done it, not believing her to be able to do the marathon.

My mom looks up to ME! I cried. Never in my life would I have thought she would. I've always known she was proud of the things I've done, but it just blew me away.

The funny thing is? I learned to be brave from her. I learned not to take crap, to love me for me and not let anyone tell me otherwise.

What a wonderful surprise!

Chelle }}i{{

How Did I Get Spam On My BLOG?!?!!?

2010-10-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I saw I got a comment on my blog, thought Yea! Someone left me LOVES!!!

Yeah, it was some kid spamming on my blog!!! WTH?! REALLY?! Is nothing sacred any more?!

*sigh*

People go so low for buck.

Chelle }}i{{

Had My 2nd Nerve Burn Today...

2010-10-12T18:45:00.001-07:00

AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!

It sucks, but I know I'll feel better in a few days. So, right now, hurting, but should be better soon!

*SIGH*

Chelle }}i{{

Work Frustrations

2010-10-10T01:51:00.000-07:00

So, had a bad night at work. It was great until the last little bit. And I'm more mad at myself than anything.

I felt bad, there was a girl that kept asking me what's wrong...I finally got mad at her and said, "look, I know you're trying to help, but I just DON'T want to talk right now." I know she was trying to help, but I was in that "don't give a crap about anyone right now, leave me alone." mood.

Anyhoo, here's hoping tomorrow's better.

Room Purging

2010-10-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well, the sun is out FINALLY!!!!!!!! Feeling like being in a cleaning mood. It's time for the annual purging of Xander's room after his birthday!! So many new toys, time to box them up and put them in the garage!!

<3

Insomniac

2010-10-05T11:36:00.000-07:00

I'm finally horribly exhausted today. I haven't slept well in a week. But, it's my weekend, I have three days off. I'm very happy that I'm so tired!!!

I've been in a musical mood the last couple days too! I've been playing my guitar and listing to some new music. It's been a hoot!

I did learn a new chord today! F#! So, I'm hoping to keep doing that part of my goal! I also am going to be picking up my piano again. That will really help with the band.

I'm also thinking about going to culinary school. I think it'll be fun and really worth my time!!! :)

Day 460...wow!

2010-10-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I just updaed all my goals...holy hannah!!!! I've come so far!!!!

I think my favorite goal I just passed off was completing my bike race/marathon! I was able to do 43 miles in it! While I didn't finish the race...I participated and it was a NEAT experience!!

Conference is on...better head on over and listen and get ready for work! *sigh!*

Biking Zen-Momentum

2010-10-03T12:14:00.000-07:00

This was written in June as well! :)

I was riding my bike around a local lake yesterday. I had an epiphany.

Ever since I can remember I love going downhill on my bike, followed by the quick change to uphill. Why? I shift my bike to the hardest gear and work that downhill, and pedal, pedal, pedal! I pick up a lot of speed and enjoy it, using the momentum I've gained on the downhill it makes the hill I'm climbing so much easier to reach the top.

I watched some people take the downhill lightly, sometimes not even pedaling, just coating. They're enjoying the "free ride" so to speak. But, as the downhill gets replaced quickly with the uphill climb, they labor very hard to reach the top. They are enjoying the fun part but have to work twice as hard on the difficult part.

I thought of life's many peaks and valleys. Many of us (including me) take it easy on the way down, coasting through the valley, not worried about the looming mountain in the distance.

If we work harder in those times of great ease, when we hit those peaks, using our momentum, it makes that mountain much easier to climb.

If we keep a steady pace throughout both valleys and peaks, it will feel more like a constant flat road. I'm not saying all the time, day in day out, we still really need to take the time to smell the roses and look at the view.

Just something I wanted to share.

Chelle }}i{{

Sara Bareilles, The Temple, and Divine Inspiration.

2010-10-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

So, what does Sara Bareilles, (a talented pop singer/songwriter) and the Temple have in common? Me. I know, it sounds weird...but it was weird to begin with. For starters, only a few of you know what this is all about...but in due time everyone will. :)

Being a musician, I seem to channel many thoughts, feelings, etc. through music. Well, I just purchased Sara's second album, Kaleidoscope Heart, which is PHENOMENAL! And have been "wearing it out", much to the chagrin of my dear, patient husband. I will take a new cd and play it over and over until I know all the lyrics, and get sick of it and have to stop listening to it for a while.

There was a song that I have just falling in love with, it's called Uncharted. I knew it applied to my life in many ways, but little did I know how much it would. I was on my way home from work last night, when a song of Sara's came on that I hadn't really started listening to yet, "The Light", I had heard it a couple of times. So, I listened to the lyrics...I about started to cry.

You see, there has been this problem plaguing me for some two years now. A decision that will effect me and my family greatly. I have always known the answer, and what I needed to do. Pride, fear and stubbornness has kept me from listening for a long time. So much that the last time I got my answer in the temple, I cried, I cried hard because I was so upset with this answer. Well, things have been softening in me for sometime.

Last night, after listening to "The Light", I felt calm and okay with this long awaited choice. But, I felt I needed more, I felt a never before urgency in this decision. I went to the Temple. While it was closed because it was 11 at night, I walked around the outside of the gate and sat at the exact pillar where my boyfriend proposed to me. That pillar has been a wonderful reminder of what transpired there over 7 years ago.

I prayed and I listened to the silence and a cd of hymns I sung in choir in college. The chilled when ate at me, but I felt warm. A big decision that I had been in torcher with for two years had finally come to an end. I knew, with all my soul, with every fiber of my being, that EVERYTHING would be okay, no matter what. There were alot of fears that have held me back...they were all put to rest.

I left the temple, completely at peace. It was amazing! I turned back on Sara and "Uncharted" came on. I cried. The lyrics made even MORE sense now. I'll share them now:

Uncharted:
"No tears, my tears won't make any room for 'em. Oh, and it don't hurt like anything I've ever felt before. This is no broken heart, no familiar scars, this territory goes uncharted. Just me, in a room sunk down in a house in a town and I don't breathe though I never meant to let it get away from me. Now I have too much to hold, everybody has to get their hands on gold, and I want uncharted. Stuck under the ceiling I made I can't help the feeling, I'm going down. Follow if you want. I won't just hang around like you'll show me where to go. I'm already out of fool-proof ideas, so don't ask me how to get started. It's all uncharted. Each day, I'm counting up the minutes 'til I get away. "cause I can't stay in the middle of it all, it's nobody's fault. But I'm so low, never knew how much I didn't know, oh everything is uncharted. I know I'm getting nowhere when I only sit and stare like, I'm going down. Follow if you want I won't just hang around like you'll show me where to go. I'm already out of fool-proof ideas so don't ask me how to get started, it's all uncharted. Jump start my kaleidoscope heart. I love to watch the colors fade. They may not make sense, but they sure as hell made me. I won't go as a passenger no, waiting for the road to be laid. Though I may be going own I'll take in flame over burning out. Compare where you are to where you want to be and you'll nowhere. I'm going down..."

This is not a broken heart, not familiar. I've never been here before. So, I'm going down. Follow if you want. I'm out of fool-proof ideas, this is uncharted...and I've never felt better about it!

Much love to my girls that already know what this is about. I wouldn't have been open to this. Thank you with all my heart! <3

Chelle }}i{{

Inspiration

2010-08-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

So, I've been loosing a lot of weight and really shaping up this last little bit here. I feel great and am doing much more with myself these days.

The bummer? My back is still killing me. Which, really sucks, I was told and holding on with sheer faith that my back would get better...I don't know, we'll keep holding on!

But the cool thing? The REALLY cool thing?! Since I've been posting stuff about my biking, my food, and just life, people are coming out of the wood work saying how they are inspiried by me! By little old ME!!! I have been truly amazed at the out-pouring of it all!!

I feel very much like Forest Gump where he just felt like running...soon he has this HUGE following and he didn't have a plan or anything, he just ran...

I've been posting everything for me as a reminder to help myself and make the dream and goal more real...it's now realier than ever!!!!!!

Chelle }}i{{

*YEAH!!**

2010-05-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

Such a happy day! I checked on our voting status for this band compition....we're 9th!!! Within two hours, we jumped from 11th to 9th!

**DANCES!** SUCH A GOOD DAY!!!!!!!!!

A Beautiful Morning!

2010-04-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

So, this was the second night on graveyard. I had a loooong night! But, I was awake! It was nice to get out of work early...I was going to go straight to bed, but I decided to swing by yoga. I haven't been in about 2 months. I really miss it.

I had a very neat experience. I had a friend call it a "grounding" experience, where your soul fully connects with your body. I don't know how to explain it.

I was in a deeper than usual meditation...I noticed it in three different poses. The first pose, the bottom of my feet were cool, not cold. As if I just stepped barefoot into a nice patch of soft, spongey, moist ground. The next pose, my fingers were gently being pulled back and forth, like a gentle breeze on branches...the last pose was feeling like my arms were spread wide, and unmoving...like big branches. It hit me then...I was a tree. It was such a neat experience...I cannot describe it. It was beautiful, strange, wonderful, and familiar.

I also found a blooming tree that had blossoms in the shape of a heart!!! Here's a pic! It was lovely! I know that the earth has beautiful and pleasant surprises...so, is this organized chaos? A beautiful accident? Or a gnome shaping our spring time to make it more joyous for those that can see it for it's really beauty.

May everyone have a joyous spring!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Home Schooling, The Internal Struggle

2010-04-19T02:06:00.000-07:00

So, I have a few online friends that home school, I've learned a lot from them, and have used them in daily things for Xander. Not a regular thing, but something will trigger a blog post I've read, and I'll try to wedge the message in some how.

I was visiting with a woman in my church. She just pulled her kids out of the school Xander will be attending next year. The things she told me were rather appalling. She said she learned things about her teacher that her daughter picked up that one should not know unless good friends, let alone through a child. Her kid's teacher informed them VERY late in the year (or not at all) about how bad their children were doing...when there were no notes, no progress reports, etc. How can you help your child when things like that happen? So, she finally pulled her kids out.

They are doing VERY well! She has a Christian-based educational program.

This is my questions on this, I would LOVE a Christian-based schooling, but also a natural approach too. Everytime I'm teaching him about something, it always seems to be when we're outdoors, and it's related to nature. I guess for me, when I'm in nature, it's where everything makes sense. It's where I'm my calmest and most reflective. The world and my mind seem to open up.

It's where I can't get cell reception, nor TV, where the only thing I have is, my imagination, my thoughts, and myself (well most of the time now, I have Xander in tow.) But he's is drawn into that world too. He's so full of life and energy, but I've noticed, he's mellower, he listens to me so much better! Could it be in my genes, passed down to my son?

I was talking to Aaron tonight about possibly home-schooling Xander. He sighed and said, "I know, it's all up to me, if I can get a good paying job so you can stay home."

He's right. If I could be a stay at home mom, I would be so content! I really hate to put that burden on him, but he's been trying for years. He wants me home too (only because he knows I want it. He is not demanding it.) I see all these mom's all around me that are stay-at-homes and they complain that they don't get out, that they wish they could trade places....I'm sorry, but I wouldn't. To not have to work for people who don't appreciate you (the guests, my bosses are great!), to be able to cook EVERY meal at home (it's relaxing to me! I put on music and Xander helps! It's so fun!).

I admit, sometimes it can be difficult, but to see my son with that sparkle in his eye, the hug and our kiss that he only does with just me (we peck and rubbed our noses!!), It's worth every bit of it. To take every moment I have and spend it with him, reading a book, discovering a pirate treasure, making cup cakes...oh the things we would do!!!!!

Well, hopefully I'll have some more time to start the search once I graduate in a month! Yea!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Minature Disasters :-)

2010-04-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

So, Xander and I took a quick trip down to California. We went to see and old friend, and a new, but "old" friend.

We stayed in Hayward at her house, I wanted to see them, Sangeeta's mom is not doing to good, she has cancer and has been doing pretty well, but has recently taken a turn for the worst. So, we went down to say hi, we haven't seen them in a couple of years, but we still talk on the phone. It was too quick, but nice to go and visit. I'm hoping to go down there again soon!! The boys had sooo much fun together!!! :-)

We then went up to meet up with Chels and her daughter Amelie in Bodega Bay...it was starting off to be a very nice day the sun was out, the wind was low and it was just amazing!! We went to an art gallery for a showing of paintings that were all about Buddhism...it was very neat to see!!

Then Chels accidently put one tire of her car in a ditch! Oh no!! I started laughing.

I felt so bad for laughing! But, I'm one of those that I either laugh or cry...This is why I sometimes laugh at inapproriate times...But the main reason I laughed, is because I am car trouble proned...it should have been me! I'm always loosing my keys, or having a flat...

We ended up at a ranger's station because there was NO cell service! I know, California with no cell service! I would expect it in Death Valley, but not there!! The kids had fun, they found a couple of muddied water holes and threw rocks in them.

So then, after Chels got a hold of a tow truck, we sat across the road chatting while the children played near a cliff drop off...we snacked and played.

The tow truck came, and the car ended up with minimal damage! Yea!!! We even saw some whales even!! Well, that or three rocks...we swore they were moving!!!

We headed to a lovely beach next. It was so fun! Oh, how I miss it!! The roar and silence all in one! It was beautiful!! The kids had so much fun! The water was cold and refreshing...bordering on too cold! I LOVE the ocean! You feel so small there. In our lives we sometimes are only concerned with things that are immediatly surrounding ourselves. To take sometime, in good company, and reflect that we're not the only ones' here...that life is not all about us...it's all about EVERYONE! We are all connected somehow some way.

The kids buried our feet, then buried our feet. They picked up tons of shells and had a fun time doing it!!!

As soon as I got in the car, my ipod came on, and the song "Minature Disasters" by K.T. Tunstall came on. I just laughed! It was such an ironic moment!!!

Then, we went to a deli and had rubber sandwhiches while vulters circled over head....THEY were HUGE!!

I headed back home through Napa/Sonoma and was in awe of all the beauty there!!! Then swung by my aunts house in Fairfield for a couple hours. It was neat to see them for a minute! My Mom and Grandparents were even there! :-)

All in all, it was a quick, but fun trip!!! I relaxed, felt peace, visited with good friends, and had a wonderful time! Can't wait to go back!!!!

Sometimes, life choses what happens to us. We can either sit back and enjoy the moment it brings or stress from it. I do stress often, but I'm trying to make these "Disasters" minature...because, it usually ends up well in the end. :-)

Feeling Very Humble Tonight

2010-04-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

So, I'm at my friends' house in Hayward, I'm visiting just for tonight and then heading out tomorrow. Her mom is a sweet, sweet soul, and she has been battling cancer for years. Well, it's now in her brain, liver and lungs.

Seeing her today, she looked so gaunt, but her spirit was shinning. I told her she has raised wonderful children, and she just started to cry, saying that they are the only things she has left. I just started to cry...the twinkle had left her eye.

We had a wonderful day, we ate at a great meal at a Persian place. Then had ice cream, and then we got back, and Xander and I went to bed to nap.

We woke up and had a good evening. Her mom imerged from her room to eat. Her throat has been hurting so bad since the radiation started.

I was on the phone, and at one point, she was screaming at my friend saying she can't eat anymore and to give her a couple days. I just wanted to cry. She was so sad, and I can understand...I think she's done, she's tired of fighting, but she's hanging on for her kids and grandkid.

I know her kids are just hanging on, because she was such a wonderful, joyous person...now a gaunt hollow shell. I just hope that she can go in peace and that her kids will let her go in peace.

It makes me so greatful to believe in another life, to know that there IS something out there. To know my father is there waiting for me. It'll be a year this coming August. I can't believe it.

We go through life hoping and fending off the inevitable...death. I just hope that when my time comes, I'll have no regrets, that I'll be happy knowing that I lived MY life to it's fullest.

Chelle }}i{{

A Fun, Educational Day!!!

2010-04-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

What a fun day today!!! I had to get the car looked at, as I’m going to California next week. Virginia Lake, a lovely park that has an irrigation lake in the middle of bustling Reno. Virginia lake is beautiful, even with it’s own island in the middle, I call the island “bird island“. I don’t know what it’s official name is, I just know that it is big and full of all sorts of birds.

So, this park is only a little ways from our mechanic. We walked over. We listened to music on the way over, dancing to Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 soundtrack and then to KT Tunstall, a “new to me” artist. We danced the entire 7 blocks it took to get there, twisting, and twirling, not caring at all about what the cars whizzing past us thought. We looked absolutely ridiculous, and we had such fun doing it!!!

We sat on the edge of the water watching ducks do what they do best, dive and swim. He was so fascinated as they would disappear into a mess of bubbles and then pop back up some thirty seconds later.

We had a wonderful lesson. We talked about the different birds. He was able to tell the difference between ducks, geese and seagulls! We talked about their diets. We learned the three main meal groups. Omnivore, Carnivore and Herbivore.

He learned ways to tell the difference, by giving him clues within the description of the animals diets. For example, a duck, eats veggies, fruits and herbs. They are known as herbivores. A person (he pointed out a bear too!), eats ALL kind of food. They eat fruits, veggies, meat and OMelets, they are an OMnivore. Tigers, T-Rexes, and wolves eat meat, they are a (make a growling sound) *Arg*nivore (Carnivore).

So, it was fun and so educational! It was so fun associating words to help him along, I thought I’d share this fun, wonderful day!!!!
Chelle }}i{{

Sick

2010-04-06T05:36:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. I've been sick for a week. Xander's sick, but doing better. My nose is so clogged, I'm having a really hard time sleeping.

Oh well, it's Friday! :-) Yeah!! One day left until some full-time sleep coming!

Chelle }}i{{

Everything I Know, I Learned From The Beatles

2010-04-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was playing Beatles Rock Band last night (a friend let me barrow it!), and I had an epiphany. I LOVE the Beatles, always have. I was thinking that I've learned several lessons in life that are reflected in their songs. Enjoy!

Everything I Know, I Learned From The Beatles

One, and one, and one is three

I can get by with a little help from my friends

I HAS been a hard days night

All you need is love

I would LOVE to see an octopus’s garden

We should ALWAYS sing Happy Birthday

I'll take my broken wings and learn to fly again

We should come together, right now

Life's beautiful and so am I

Yes, I want to know a secret, we all do

Everyone is hiding, except the monkey

If we wanted to, we could have 8 days in a week

Imagine

You can drive my car

Never ask a woman name Eleanor where she keeps her head, it’s not polite

It’s never to late to get back to where you once belong

I’m not a walrus, I’m THE walrus…coocoo cachoo

It’s fun to hold a hand

I’m a lover, not a dancer

We all need help sometimes

There will be answer

Never anger a man named Maxwell, he has a hammer.

My name is Michelle, and I am a belle

I love strawberries

Sometimes, the most abstract things make perfect sense

Yes, I'm going to be a star, even if it's just in my own world

Life goes on

Take a sad song, and make it better

Let it be

Here comes the sun, and it’s better than alright, it’s beautiful

We all should know better

You know I love you

Marshmallow pies are tasty

There will always be a scapegoat, Yoko was the Beatles

Sitar is both fun to say and to hear played

Think for yourself

There is NEVER too much monkey business

We can work it out

I will still need you at 64

I don’t live in a submarine, but it would be fun!

An Instruction Manual For Kids

2010-04-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

**I had to write a discussion paper on "Behavioral Self-Reinforcement" for class. I chose parenting. This is what I came up with. I thought it worth sharing, as anyone who is a parent has been through this! enjoy! Chelle }}i{{**

An Instruction Manual for Kids

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if children did come with an instruction manual? In a way they do, us. We take bits and pieces of our life as a child, add a pinch of being an example, and there you have it! Sounds like an easy recipe, right?

Being a mother, I have moments of failure, I think, “why doesn’t he listen to me? I must not be a good parent!” After discussing this inadequacy fear with other parents, this thought seems to be a common one. They bounce around, run off, and talk back to you, only for one reason, they are testing you, and your limits.

To compound upon our feelings of being a “bad parent”, we have other people telling us how to raise our child. Parents, grandparents, siblings, even perfect strangers will intercede. While their mission is usually good, sometimes the advice is not. We need to take the advice with a grain of salt and research on our own what is best for our child, for every child is different and responds differently.

“Both our nature, what is born in us, and our nurture, how we are conditioned, define who we are and what we believe. What we allow into our consciousness, therefore, weighs heavily on what we will become.” -C. Woolf.

It is said that we (as parents) need to apply appropriate discipline, stating that older children will need different punishments than younger ones. You have to remember your in charge. There is such a thing as loving, but firm parenting. Giving your child appropriate boundaries for their age is essential. Giving them a little freedom, is essential too. We must be willing to take some risk, this helps them ingrain in their mind consequences vs. choices.

There is a fear emerging of crushing a child’s spirit, thus turning the tables to where the child is in control, not the parent. How many times in a store do with see a child throwing a fit because they can’t get what they want (if you’re a parent, we’ve all been there, sort of a right of passage). Pay attention next time, see what the parent does, give in or not? Do they threaten or explain? Threatening a child with unreasonable threats is not the way to go, if you cannot follow through with the threat, it is not a “good” threat. What is a good threat? Something that will teach your child a lesson without causing serious trauma. For example, taking away toys or favorite things for a certain amount of time or time-outs.

The last thing, but most important thing I want to bring up is education. Parents need to stay active in a child’s education, we are usually the main “conditioner”. While schools are a great place of learning, children will apply and retain most of this knowledge within the home. Children are sponges, they absorb everything we say and do, (sometimes to my chagrin). One of my favorite things to do is take daily life, and turn it into a lesson. Two of my favorite impromptu lessons was a walk, where we discovered our shadows, and my son playing with several different sized balls turned into the solar system.

When using these points in life, we will still have feelings of inadequacy and people telling us we’re “doing it wrong.” But, when your child is independent, knowledgeable, and respectful, all those feelings and voices seem to melt away.

References:

http://www.allaboutparenting.org/parenting-skills.htm

http://om-school.blogspot.com/

General Conference

2010-04-03T10:39:00.000-07:00

I love General Conference! Every 6 months, we get to listen to the prophet in out pj's. :-)

My favorite so far was Pres. Monson at the very begining, and the only talk I've been able to hear. I finally had to give up and watch it later. I keep telling Xander he needs to be quite, because it's like church. But, he's sick, and he's getting ancy, and keeps interupting me. So, instead of getting grumpy and putting him in time out over it, I'm just going to watch it later. Thank you DVR!!! :-)

Now, we're going to turn on some music and dye easter eggs! :-)

Yea!!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Trying to Re-Organize My Life

2010-04-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

Alright, so after an almost year hiatus, I'm going to try getting back into the swing of things. I would like to re-start my 101 things in 1001 days. I looked back and was both surprised and disappointed. While I crossed off some majors goals, I let the little, important ones slipped through the cracks.

This past year, I have had a lot of time to reflect. I've started (and hopefully will finish school) I've started a band and we have recorded a song! Tilt-O-Whirl. Pretty cool.

My dad died, I've had surgery and a couple of major procedures on my back.

I'm still working in a job I feel is keeping me from my son. He seems to grow over night. Everyday I discover new things he's just discovered. It's wonderful! I love how he reminds me of being a kid. I love reconnecting with life this way. :-)

Anyhoo, it's now time to get ready and head to work.

O Canada! What a GREAT Opening Ceremony!!

2010-02-13T01:04:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching the Opening Ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, B.C., Canada.

Besides Sarah McLachlan performing (Terri Clark should have too!!! >:-O), I think the "fake" air skiers on the mountains was my favorite part, it was pretty cool!!

I hope you had fun Jan!! :-)

Oh, and did anyone notice the lipsyncing? I thought it was funny, you could tell when it was and when it wasn't. At the very begining and the very end of "Ordinary Miracle" by Sarah, she sang, the rest was her pretending...and it was bad. She was too happy, when she plays, it's very intense...didn't buy it! It's usually harder to tell when they are, not this time!

Chelle }}i{{

Idaho Pics

2010-02-13T00:58:00.000-08:00

Well, they seem to be on the other computer...so, I'll have to do it later. Lol

Mom and Dad's Anniversary, My Idaho Trip

2010-02-13T00:41:00.000-08:00

So, I'm a little behind, but oh well! lol

On Feb. 2nd (better known as Groundhog's Day), was my parents, well would have been their 37th wedding anniversary.

I haven't been able to keep in good contact with her do to cell phone limitations in the wilderness of Idaho.

Well, I've been really worried about her. She seems to put on a good "voice mask"...but I know it's hard.

Being suddenly without someone that's been apart of your life for more than 35 years. It really was rough...the good times were great, the hard times even harder. This is what makes it so rough...sometimes it's easy not to hurt, when you think of the little daily idiosencrencies that annoyed you beyond belief...yet those are the things you'll miss the most.

So, on Monday the 1st, heading into work, I felt the sudden prompting that I HAD to be in Idaho to see mom and I had to leave ASAP. So, I took a vacation day the next day and headed off that night after work! I crashed at my friend Melisha's house a little over half way from Reno and Grangeville, ID to sleep for a couple of hours before heading out again.

Long story short, I surprised my mom with a "Hey, was in the neighborhood (10 hour drive), thought since you don't have a date tonight, that I'd take you out tonight."

We cried hugged, Xander was SOOO excited to see his Grandma "From Vegas" (still trying to get used to saying Gma Dobbs or "In Idaho", lol). And we went out to Chinese Food...aparently it came highly recomended (I think by people who lost their taste buds in a tragic fire)...in other words, it was edible, and the company was WAY better than the food! lol

Rule of thumb? Never eat chinese food in a USA town where the Cows out number the people in a 5-1 ratio, even if the cook "came from China"....don't believe it!!! lol

Then, we went to my Uncle's Ranch the Next day and saw my gpa and gma. My gma is really bad with Alzheimer's...apparently, we caught her on a good day. She seemed relativly lucid. She knew me and Xander, she just went into repeat mode about every 15 minutes. I'm scared, I don't think she's going to be here much longer. :-(

But back to fun!

We saw Elk, Deer, Cows and all sorts of birds! I think we even saw a Wolf. There was this HUGE black "dog" in the middle of a hay field...the only black dog I know of on the ranch was standing right by us...hmmmm

Oh! And we went down to the Salmon River and we saw bear prints, deer, elk, raccon (I think) and possible wolf.

Anyhoo, we had fun, and I'm posting pics next!!!!

Why Does Everyone Think I'm Gay?!?!?!?!

2010-01-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is definetly a rant blog today!!

I get hit on by women...alot (which I find flatering to a point). Coworkers have said I am. I even had a coworker tell me, "If you weren't married, I'd so be your girlfriend."

I walked in to work after I changed (On Tuesday), and I had on jeans and a leather coat. My hair is short...it's only been like that for a couple years...my boss looks at me and says, "Wow, you really do look like a lesbian." commenting of my outfit.

I'm sorry I like to wear my leather jacket. I'm sorry I have short hair. I'm sorry I like to wear leather braclets. I'm sorry I listen to all sorts of music, including listing some know lesbian artists amoung my favorites.

I don't understand. I'm happily married, I have a son. I am not Gay!!!!

...not that I have a problem with it. :-)

Thanks for letting me rant today!!

Reading a Good Book, PTSD (Yea!)

2010-01-15T00:00:00.001-08:00

So, I'm seeing a counselor about my over-reaction to checking in a family that was in a bad car wreck.

She diagnosed me with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Which, she was right on. Every time I approach my accident scene, I tense up. I get even worse if there is heavy traffic.

So, she is having me read this book called, "Feel The Fear...and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

It's great!! I think it'll help me with my stage freight as well! I know I have a good singing voice, and I know my lyrics are great, I just need to work on my nerves!

One great quote in there stated, "If you knew you could handle anything that came your way, what would you possibly have to fear? The answer is: NOTHING!"

Have a great weekend! Mine's just about over!!

Chelle }}i{{

I Have The World's Best Hubby!!

2010-01-14T01:22:00.001-08:00

I forgot to mention in my last blog how much I love my hubby. He is so amazing and so wonderful!!!

I'm not trying to brag or anything, but or love is strong and great!!!

I have conversations with guys at work, and they always speak of how jealous they get with the women in their relationships. And it's sad to think about. Without trust, there is NO relationship. (Being I have a very healthy, "long" marriage and seem to be surviving, I get asked relationship questions). And by "long" I mean 6 years.

A wound cannot heal when infection plagues it.

Now, I admit that when we first got married, I had my brief moments of jealousy, and I know Aaron would too. But we got over it, and now consider it very flattering when someone "hits on us". I have guy friends at work who I will hug every day...They are like co-worker brothers. They're always looking out for me.

My point being is this, first of all, I thought Aaron was going to be home, he thought so too. Well, I invited my new guitarist over to start jamming and get some songs down.

Turns out that Aaron had scouts and had to leave the house almost right around the time my guitarist showed up. He's 26, and a "cute little boy" is the best way to describe him, because he just looks so young. lol

Anyhoo, we practiced for about an hour and a half. He is a VERY talented guitarist! I feel sooo lucky to have found him on Craig's list! We met last week, and this was our first "official unofficial practice" (our drummer couldn't make it).

Matt left right before Aaron got home. I greeted Aaron with an excited hug and kiss, saying "Thanks for trusting me." There aren't many hubby's who would let me do this [music/band] but there are even less that are okay with having him in our home practicing while Aaron was gone, and only a 4 year old as a witness.

Don't get me wrong, it's still not the ideal situation, but when all your band mates' schedules are pretty tight, it makes it hard for everyone to get together at once some weeks.

Anyhoo, just wanted to spread the message!!! The key to a long and healthy relationship is trust. It is a two way street with no detours, but it's the best damn street to be on!!! :-D

Fun Day! Nerves Meet Music.

2010-01-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

So, my guitarist came over today for our first unofficial practice (drummer wasn't available). But we had fun, got to feel each other out. He's really talented.

I just need to get my confidence up!! I do sing good, but I'm just so out of it!

I hate that! I'm good, I am confident in almost everything I do, but when I get up to sing, I get very discourage at my singing.

I need to stop that!!!

I have the talent!!!!

Bad Week For A Friend

2010-01-12T23:02:00.000-08:00

I have a great friend, she's having a really bad week. I've been a shoulder for her to cry on this week.

I feel that I'm lucky to be her friend. I pray for her often. She is a good friend and a gentle soul. She has a good hubby and two great friends.

When it rains it pours.

Like I said before, I want one of those easy buttons. ;-)

Chelle }}i{{

There's Gotta Be A Button...

2010-01-11T00:05:00.000-08:00

Like those "Easy Buttons" in those Staples commercial.

Something that will just help and make everything bad that's happened go away. Ya know?

Or a wand.

Don't worry about me, it's not me in troubles...just wishing I knew what to do to help someone.

Chelle }}i{{

Found my Guitarist!!!

2010-01-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

So, I met Matt, he audtitioned to be my lead guitarist.

He's a nice kid, talented too. We met up at Java tonight just to hang and try out some stuff. He's not used to an acoustic guitar, but bought one just for this group. He's been in thrash bands before, so he can play licks for sure, but he said he really wants something different. He can play many different generes. So, we played, had some fun, he was able to keep up with the songs I know, and by the 3 or four line was playing right along with me.

He's excited and can't wait to start practicing. It should work out really good!! I'm excited!

And we had these two bums approach us (we were outside playing) the one wanted to play my guitar and kept trying to touch it, even though I said back off. I don't care for other people touching my instruments!! Matt was the same way. Plus, new strings, don't want to get them gunked up. Then he asked for a dollar so he and his friend could get a beer. Said nope, don't drink and won't pay for it.

The "leader" bum then said, "well, that's ok, your still cool." ROFL!!!!

Nerve Burning...Tree Finally up!

2009-12-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

So, I'm getting my nerves burned off tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but I had a blessing the other day, saying this is the right path to take.

So, I know I'll be okay, I just really don't want to go through it! ugh!!!

But, we did get the tree up! Yea!!!

It was fun! I usually don't like Christmas music, do to the Marching Band fact of playing it all year...I just get so burned!

But, we listened to SheDaisy, Trisha Yearwood, and Sarah McLachlan's Christmas CD's. It was fun!!

We're still stuck in snow, we had two big storms back to back with record temps (it was -20 at my house!!!) and it's just icy and blah. Hard to drive in!

Anyhoo, starting to get back into the swing of things here!

Chelle }}i{{

Starting my 101 things in 1000 days again!

2009-12-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I've decided to start my 101 things again!! I was only 55 days in it to begin with, but there are a lot of things on my list I had goals for that I can cross off.

So, I need to start over again, but I'm going to keep my list the same, as some of these goals were really big goals!

Look for some updates soon!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Great Advice From Colbie Caillat..."Dog girl" my meet-n-greet experience

2009-11-18T00:24:00.001-08:00

Mel and Me With Colbie!

It's a little lengthy, sorry!! But soooo cool!!!

So, my best friend, Mel and I went to the Colbie Caillat concert. She was performing at the Casino I work for, so I was able to get free tickets and meet-n-greets. We were sooo excited! We LOVE Colbie!!!

So, the night before the concert, they were going to be checking in around my shift. A woman comes up and shows me her Hawaiian ID. I noticed the last name Caillat. I asked her if she was related to...she cut me off and grinned proudly, 'She's my daughter!!!!'

I got so excited and told her that I'm going and have meet-n-greets. I also told her thank you for raising what seems like a great kid. B/c her husband (Colbie's Dad) is a famous producer...he worked alot with Fleetwood Mac. And instead of saying 'hey dad, do me a fav.' Instead, she wrote her own songs and posted them on Myspace. I told her mom how much I respected that.

She thanked me and then asked if we allowed dogs in the hotel. I said yes, and she got excited and gushed, 'I have my friend in reno keeping our dog! Colbie hasn't seen her in months!!' So, I hooked her up to allow the dog in the hotel.

She then sat in the lounge to wait for colbie. I saw Colbie walk in and they headed up to their rooms. Her mom comes down an hour later with a signed autograph saying thanks! I was totally shocked! how down to earth she was! It was great!"

...too be continued...

Great Advice From Colbie Caillat..."Dog girl" my meet-n-greet experience - Con't

2009-11-18T00:08:00.000-08:00

(This is the writen advice Colbie wrote in my book. She gave much more spoken advice...this was a turning point folks!!!!!!!)

Then, the concert. Colbie was great! Mel and I were waiting to go in for the meet-n-greet.

I saw her mom again. I waved and said 'Hi Diane!' she said, 'Michelle!!!' and gave me a big hug! And again thanked me!
A woman whipped around and asked, 'Are you the dog lady?!' I laughed and said yes. I asked if she was the friend from Reno. She said yes, and I found out she lives out where we just bought a house. So, we swapped info and now talk all the time! She's nice!

Then, I met Colbies' Gma, she asked if I was the 'dog lady'. I laughed again, she shook my hand and thanked me too.

Then, we get back to meet Colbie, and I walk up and said, 'Apparently I'm 'the dog lady' in your family. I work here and checked in your mom last night.'

She smiled and exlaimed, 'Oh! Thanks for everything you've done for us, and your hotel has just been awesome!!'

I was floored! She knew MY name!! I then asked her as she was signing my book of songs I have, 'I'm a songwriter, what advice would you give me?'

She told me to write from the heart, be honest, sometimes writing from a different persepctive is a great way to get a song. She told me song 'Breakthrough' is actually about a friend and her relationship with her dad. So, now that song has a whole new meaning to me.

Long Road, Fresh Start

2009-11-02T11:05:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been a while since I've been on here!!!! I miss it! I miss my daily blogs. Life just got too crazy!

I'm doing good in school....I mean, at least I'm passing, lol.

We just moved into our new house!!! We love it!!!! It's twice the size of our old one, we pay $200 less a month!!! I love it!!!!!!!!!! It's was the right thing at the right time.

It hit me after our primary program, we had just found out we got the house, and we're just waiting to close. I walked into the primary room after the program and I just started tearing up.

When I was set apart as the Primary Chorister, I was promised that if I put my heart and soul in the calling, I'd had the things I needed in my life.

Well, it came true. I was able to have my breast reduction, I was lucky enough to see my dad before he died. I'm going back to school, and we have our new house.

I feel so lucky and so blessed!! I know that I am on the right track, and that I'm finally finding myself again. I hate feeling so lost sometimes. It just sucks.

Anyhoo,

Time for home work!!!

Chelle }}i{{

How Great Shall Be Your Joy....My Testimony of Primary and Visiting Teaching

2009-09-23T01:41:00.001-07:00

**names have been changed**

I want to share two things with you involving blessings and the church. Both came full circle this week for me, one of them tonight.

First of all, we have a house!!! Yea!!!! It just passed inspection, and we close on the 14th!!!

Well, when I got set-apart as the primary chorister almost a year ago...I was promised two things. I was promised, that if I put my heart and soul in this calling, that these children will know the gospel and Christ through me and through song, and that everything will fall into place the way it is needed in our own lives. Well, I did put my heart and soul into this calling. I love it so much! It is my favorite calling by far.

Sunday was the primary program, and the kids sang AMAZING!!! I was soooo wired after wards b/c I was sooo proud of them!! As I walked into the Primary Room from Sacrament, it hit me and I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that EVERYTHING came true. These children DO know Christ through song!!! And although it has been overshadowed by some grief (car accident, my dad, my friend's baby dying)....our life has worked out. We've become more financially stable, I was FINALLY able to have my breast reduction surgery, and we are moving into our own house!!!!! We are getting twice the house for about $250 less!!!! You can't beat that!!!! My life has been soooo blessed and I know it is in part because of my calling.

The second is the wonderful blessing of being a visiting teacher. My life long friend Terri (the above-mentioned friend who lost her baby) and I re-connected in this ward. She was in Primary with me and also my V.T. Companion. Without her, I probably wouldn't have done my v.t., as I hadn't received a testimony from it....as I've never had regular v.t.'s.

Well, we got an inactive sister. Sara. She let us in, and we had a WONDERFUL time!!! I remember telling Terri that I had a strong impression that her and I were the key to getting her back to church....and we were. We watched her grow and start coming every week. Then, she got a calling in Primary....soon her hubby started coming. Now they are regulars. They pay their tithing and are soooo close to going back to the temple, it's amazing!!!

Well, I swung by to visit with her, as this is probably my last month to visit her, being we're moving next month, and Terri moved this month out of the ward. We sat and talked. She thanked me for coming and doing our v.t.ing. She said, " I have had visiting teachers come and visit me, and I've always welcomed them in and thanked them for coming...When you and Terri first came into my home, you had this Spirit about you both....I forgot what it felt like, and I want that back in my home. I don't want it to ever leave again." I told her how proud and amazed I am to see this change too, but we cannot take all the credit, for she's come along way too in changing.

After I left, I was just in tears, so grateful, so full of joy. I'm reminded of the scripture, "And if ye bring even one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy." Well, my heart is about to burst. One person can make a HUGE difference in someone's life....and my joy is for her...

I just needed to share these things, for my heart is about to burst out. I have a strong testimony of this gospel, and of the Primary and Visiting Teaching....How Great Shall Be Your Joy indeed.....

We Bought a House!!!!!!!

2009-09-23T01:35:00.000-07:00

We Have a HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It just passed inspection! We close on the 14th!! I'm doing cartwheels!!!

It's out in Lemon Valley (a suburb of Reno).

It is 1675 sqft.

The Ironic thing? We will have almost DOUBLE the house (we live in 950 sqft duplex) for about $250 less a month!!! You CAN'T beat that!!!!!!!!!!!

It's going to be our own home too!!! I'm sooo excited!!! We did qualify for a home loan through the bank, but Aaron's Gma is loaning us the money. We'll pay a little less interest, and she'll be getting more interest than it would be just sitting in a bank. It's a win/win situation. :-)

It's in a court, single story, 3 bed, 2 bath. It's beautiful!!! I can't wait!!!!!

I'll post pics as soon as I can!!!!

My Dad Died Last Night...

2009-08-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

I got a call about 2:30 last night saying my dad was in the hospital, he had a massive heart attack. And they were still working on him, but it didn't look to good.

At 3:20, my brother called me back saying "He's gone". A deafness rang in my ears. I sobbed violently while Aaron held me in his arms until I fell asleep.

I'm so glad I was down there last week. I was able to spend sometime with my dad before he went.

And now? I'm off to Vegas again....

These are the last pictures I have of him....so I thought it right to post them.

He had his faults, his short comings, but he was a great dad growing up. He taught me many things....my favorite memories are of him teaching me how to fish.

Cariol Roy Dobbs 5/28/45-8/21/09

At my mom's Birthday dinner

Holding up Xander at the Aquarium

Mom, Dad and Xander

Xander's First Baseball Game!

2009-08-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

Daddy and Me having our own fun. ;-)
Having Fun!!!

Da da da da da! CHARGE!!!! Xander's really getting into the game!

Me and My Sissy, Angel!

The beginning of the game, they we're soooo enthralled!!

So, we have an AMAZING new stadium and a new minor league team (it's the AZ Diamondbacks Minor Team) called the Reno Aces. So, we went out, and had a GREAT TIME!!!

More Vegas Photos

2009-08-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

The Ride Home....I SWEAR I'm looking at the road!!
Xander at the Silverton Casino...a REALLY cool Aquarium!

Aaron and Xander at the M&M Factory

Me and My Momma!

Happy Birthday Mom!! At the Claim Jumper.

Lion King, Vegas, Family, Recovery

2009-08-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

So, I'm still recovering from having my boobies hacked off, but I'm feeling much better! Just had my staples removed yesterday! Feel SOOOOO much better with those out!!

We also went to Vegas, saw Lion King in Play form and hung out with the folks. I'm going to add more photos in a minute, in another post, as you can only add a few at a time. :-)

We had great fun! Lion King was Phenomenal! Xander loved it!!! It was positively amazing!!

We stayed at my folk's apartment, hung out with my bro and his wife a lot, and also got to see an old friend that I hadn't seen in over a year! Heather, Welcome to Vegas, can't wait to see you more!! :-)

Outside my folk's apartment....for reference...Xander is 3 1/2 feet tall....

Uncle Monkey and Xander sword fighting with Japenese Practice Swords

Xander with Cousin Bailey! So cute!!!

Me and my bunny!

Pic of Show.

No Mas Pechos!!!

2009-08-05T23:42:00.000-07:00

The boobies are gone! i just got home this morning. They took of 5 pounds total!!! And I'm still a "Full 'D'". Crazy!!

So, I'm feeling ok, still sore, and my incisions feel like they are itching....so, that's not fun at all!!

Thanks for all your well wishes! I should be up on my feet in no time!!!

Chelle }}i{{

How Time Flies...It's Already Been Six Years....

2009-08-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a rush! My whole life from the time I asked Aaron to Jr. Prom just came back...This came a day late, as I had all day church and work yesterday....so, we're celebrating today. :-)

....the time we went on the M.S. Dixie Cruise with a whole bunch of friends

....the time he took in a ride in his new car for an hour and just talked....the times he danced with me

....the time we went to see Remember the Titans...the time when the song Kryptonite came on, on new years eve, and he pulled out the superman keychain, "asking me if I would still call him my superman."

...the time we said goodbye for two, long years

....all those letters for those two years

....the fallen in love with him over them even more

....and when he came home

...the roses on my car all the time after work

....when he kissed for the first time outside the movie theater...how to lose a guy in ten days....yeah, that didn't work. He still here. I knew then I wanted him to be the only one to ever kiss me like that again

....When he promised me time and eternity at 1 a.m. outside of the gates of where we would be married. There was a stuffed orange monkey hidden, holding my ring. He knew me too well already

....when we promised forever to each other

....Hawaii...need I say more?

...The day I said, "Hey dad." to him

....the day Xander was born

....all the mistakes I made, all the things I've done, all the irritating things we do to each other on purpose

...and he still loves me more than ever

....he is the air I breathe, he is my other half, my better half. I've never felt so complete before

....We fit together so well

....I never thought I could love him more than I did on that beautiful day in august....

...but here I sit, 6 years later, more in love with him as I could ever be.

Jesus is in my Hear..and Eating Breatfast!!

2009-07-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

So, my son last night was getting scared and wanting me to lay down with him. I told him know (we're trying to get away from that, and he uses every ploy imaginable to get us to.)

I got the idea to explain to him that when mommy and daddy.."And Koda (our dog)" he adds, are not in the room with you there is someone else who is ALWAYS with you. He's always watching over you while you sleep, he'll protect you from all the monsters....etc.

I asked him where he thought Jesus was in the room right now? He didn't know. I point to his heart and said, "He's always right here...in your heart and he will never go away."

Well, it seemed to work and he went to bed without much further complaint.

So, waking up this morning, he comes up to me and points to his heart. "Momma, Jesus is in my heart!!"I smiled and said, "That's right!"He then said, "Yup! And he's eating breakfast right now!"

I started laughing so hard! Out of the mouths of babes!!!!!

Do LDS Women Avoid Me??!!

2009-07-22T00:56:00.000-07:00

I'm really bugged about tonight. I made plans with about 8 LDS women from my ward to go see Harry Potter and probably go have ice cream afterwards to discuss the movie.

I took the Xander to the Water park today, we had a blast...I get one text and a voice mail saying 2 couldn't make it. Found out a third and fourth then couldn't make it....ok, still four that I know of coming....

So, I rush home to shower the chlorine off me and run to the movies thinking they'll be there....no one. I was really hurt!

I was hoping to have a fun girls night out with some good LDS women. Everytime I try, something happens. It sucks!

What bothers me more is, that I tend to connect more with non-LDS women. They are always there for me when the chips are down. They brought me food, a heating back and even came over and helped me can a million pounds of dry goods....etc, etc...

These women are great women...is it me? I know I'm not the "Typical" LDS woman. I swear, I sometimes gamble (rarely), and I love loud music. I don't bake....I'm not a stay at home mom. I'm not a big time sewer...I don't scrapbook to save my life. I honestly can't sit for hours just trying to get one page of photos "just right".

Am I a non-LDS woman trapped in an LDS body? I feel like that sometimes. I go against the grain....not because I want to be a rebel...that's just the way I am and think.

Why the hell does it bother so many LDS women? Why do I get called out on shit....when I follow my faith and do what I'm supposed to....to the best of my ability....

Sorry, this ended in a different place than it started. I was just looking so forward to bonding with some LDS women in my ward who I get along with at church....I just don't know what happened.....

I'm a little disgruntled, I guess!

Oh well, good night!!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Choices in Life....

2009-07-19T02:14:00.003-07:00

I'm learning all about choices. The negative and the positive. I feel a lot of negativity in my life right now....yet so much positivity. It's interesting really.

I know I'm on the right path, I know it's the right way. But sometimes the path curves and you can't see the good that's ahead. Sometimes there is the biggest mountain you have to climb, but once you do, you look back and admire the view of all the accomplishments you've made.

I've had, it just seems a stream of bad luck. I got in another car wreck. I feel just in that moment in my life....I got thrown back to start. It has taken me four years of pain, drugs, therapy....all of the above....to get into a more good days then bad days. And then to have it all literally crash around me. It's really dug me into a hole. I'm trying to get out, I really am! Some days, it's just so hard.

And then, today at work, I get suspended for three days. I've been there over a year and NEVER had a variance on my bank (meaning I'm over or short). I just moved shifts, and I deal with a new supervisor, one that I'm not fond of. She's lazy, she's a bitch, and she has favorites. Which really pisses me off. My dear friend Brenda is my night super there, and she treats me just the same as everyone else....probably why I like her so much! We understand each other that it's just business. We work very hard at not mixing it.

Anyhoo, I digress so she pulled me in the office one day (about a month ago) and said she doesn't know, "How I do it on night shift." But on her shift, I'm going WAY too slow. She pretty much said I should shove the customers right out the door, not be myself and hurry.

I was so surprised by this, as I feel I'm quick and efficient. And whenever someone calls in, I'm usually the first one they call as I'm good.

So, I had the variances, and was mad at myself. I was written up and told to slow down. I then talked to the main kahuna there....she pulled a paper out from someone even higher than her and quoted what he wrote....saying I was one of the best employees, I always get positive comments....blah, blah, blah. Then my boss tells me that I've been awesome, she doesn't want to do it, b/c she knows the reason why...I was just so mentally messed up about it. But, it's the rules. She said I still have a job, and I'm still one of the best out there.

It made me feel okay.

Well, back in the hole I go, I'll take my lumps, I've made my choice not to let this get me down. Although I'm horribly pissed at the one woman...I'm okay. It was still my choice and my fault. She didn't touch my bank.

But, I won't let it get me down. I'm starting to turn the corner here. I see my surgery, Vegas and School right around the corner....I just have to get there first!!!

School Classes and Other Randoms...

2009-07-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

Well, the water heater broke...AGAIN!! So, the guy came out yesterday and fixed it. We finally have hot water!! Yea!!!

Aaron keeps buying those "Axe-Body spray" things...and they're just horrid! They smell good, but I can get over that Aerosol-ish smelling part of it. So, I'm going to surprise him today by going to Macy's and buying him some REAL stuff!! yea!!

My back's finally starting to feel a little better after they gave me those wonderful shots in my spine. If it continues to work, they're going to do it on my neck...which is good and bad! I just hope that it's doesn't hurt ten times worse right after the procedure!! yuck!

Who knows? I might not even need it! My reduction is in 25 days and counting. This might seriously clear-up my neck problems! Woohoo!!!

I did register for school! I'm sooo excited!!! I'm taking three classes, and all ones I'm just thrilled about! I'm just glad that they were "required" classes for me to graduate!

I'm taking "Writing Poetry" which, can't get much better than that!!! You know?! I have a natural gift for poetry, this is a for sure "Building on my talents" thing.

Then it's World Religions! I'm soooo stoked about this one!!! I have an online group about various religions that I started. And since I've started it over a year ago, I've just found it soooo fascinating!! So now, I get to dig deeper!! :-)

And then, I had to take a US Constitution class, so I took intro to American Politics. This ought to be interesting. It's an online class, which is kinda new for me! But since, I campaigned for Ron Paul last year, I think it'll be a neat insight and help me really dig down on the issues at hand. I am a registered Libertarian (much too my republican family's chagrin...lol). I liked the Republican party, but didn't love it. I was always crossing party lines to vote. But when I read into more about the Lib Party, I knew, this was the right one for me!! *gets off soap box*

Ok, so I'm excited about school! I haven't been in a while!! yea!!

It starts 8/24, 20 days after my surgery! woohoo! busy aug!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Loans, College, Pain, Idiot Landlords

2009-07-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

So, I just had my procedure where they stick me with tons of needles near my spine and put cortisone and numbing stuff. He said it should kick in in a day or two. Standing up and standing still is okay, not as much pain, but sitting and laying seems to be worse. I can't really find a happy medium right now. maybe in a couple days it'll be better. *crosses fingers*

I asked to be put out, but he said to try this stuff (I forgot what it's called, he said it's like Valium). It made me relaxed, although I did feel the whole thing. At one point, I yelped and started to cry. He asked, "Does it burn?" I said yes. He said, "That's a good thing." yeah, right! The old way, used to do 8-10 injections. He did it a different way, I only had two puncter sights. It looked like he had a bendy type needle, and just went up one side and deposited at each location. It hurt pretty good when he pulled it out fast. I guess that's the band-aid theory. Do it fast, not slow!

I just finished filling out most of our home loan papers. I just have a few questions, and e-mailed her tonight. But it looks like it's going to be good! There are a lot of foreclosed homes in the area of our ward. We love it out here in Sparks. It's a nice quite neighborhood. No one bugs you. We only talk to our actual neighbor. They're great. We sit sometimes outside in my camping chairs and chat while our kids play out front. We're gonna miss them!

I was supposed to scan my W2's and send them to the college, but for some reason, my scanners not wanting to co-operate. So, I'm gonna have to head out there tomorrow so we can finish up with the financial aid paper work. It looks promising! :-)

I'm sick of my landlord! First, he moved to Idaho and changed his phone # and address without letting us know. Sounds fishy, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Then, our hot water heater's been on the fritz, and finally quite on Friday night. I called Jim, he conveniently had his phone off for the 4th of July weekend. And being emergencies on a holiday weekend cost an arm and a leg, we waited. he FINALLY called me on Monday. He gave his brother my number and said he'd call. Well, I talked to the bro today....he can't get here until Thursday, b/c he works in Carson. i told him not good enough. He said he'd swing by after work, probably 5:30-6 ish. I went to sleep, as i was very tired after my procedure. Woke up, no phone call, no brother.

So, I'm pissed. I just wrote him a "stern" e-mail saying this ain't cool, told him I'm calling someone to come and fix it and he'd better have a credit card or billing address they can send the bill. We'll see what happens.

It's a two edge sword with this kind of landlord. He never bugs you, or pops by, doesn't care if we paint the house whatever color we want....but when we really need him, he's not there. It's like pulling teeth. ugh!

OK, done venting, I'm gonna try and get some sleep!! Aaron just rented Knowing, that weird Nicholas Cage movie. Looks good! Think I'll grab a soad and join him!!

Chelle }}i{{

Ah...Bubble Wrap...

2009-07-07T12:42:00.001-07:00

So, I'm logging on to the web to check my bank statement out. And I have on my homepage a cartoon of the day thing. Well, it was Ziggy, and this just made me giggle! I LOVE bubble wrap! It's such a stress reliever!

So, Thank you Mr Ziggy creator!!! I'm about to have my procedure done, where they knock me out, and shove a whole bunch of needles in my spine in my low back. Fun stuff!!

This "relieved my stress" a little right now.

And my friend's about to pick me up! Here I go!

Chelle }}i{{

Music and lyrics and College, Oh My!!

2009-07-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally mapped out the melody live I've had for Contradiction. I think it's spot on! Now, I just need to tweak and put some piano chords into the mix!! It is in the key of D Major, with some accidentals and a couple of borrowed V/V Chords. And if you got that last sentence, you are indeed a music nerd. :-) "what language do you speak?" "Music"....

Ah, I digress. I did head on up to TMCC, the community college here. They finally got my DARs report finished. And I just turned in the remainder of my FAFSA stuff. I also spoke to a counselor. She said I've only 13 credits left on my AA, and about 30 left on my AA of Music. But she wants me to do some research on the courses I need to take, b/c it looks like I've taken plenty of music classes. Some though, where Jr and Sr music classes, so they won't except them.

So, they're not accepting them, b/c what? The classes are too smart for the college? Am I smarter than the music their teaching? I got a little ego boost that instantly deflated when she said, "We're a Jr. College, we only accept Freshman/Sophomore credits."

"THhhpppppttt!" said Xander, as he stuck out his tongue at the woman.....yes son, my thoughts exactly....(this last part was mere fun, Xander did NOT stick out his tongue, but insited on interrupting the meeting time and again by asking for more paper to scribble on. He was actually quite enthralled with the woman and thought her "pretty"....thanks for changing teams there bud. I thought you were on my side!!!)

So, school starts in Aug. Hopefully I'll have all my ducks in a row!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Musings...eh? Happy Candia Day!!

2009-07-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

I'm in a musical mood. I have my keyboard out and everything! I have some really good song lyrics...it's just time to make them into full blow songs!!!

Here goes nothing!!! Well, after a nap first!!

We went swimming at a friends' neighborhood pool today, then back to her place for some home-made mack and cheese. Good heavens! It was soooo rich and sooooo yummy! But it's one of those, "can only eat once in a while" dishes. Just too much good stuff!!!

So, now I'm tired and full! Oh!! Xander did sooo good today swimming!! He just had those little wing floaters! He had goggles on too! He was needing a little help at first, but soon he got really confident and was swimming on his own!!

Nap here I come! Oh! Happy Canada Day, eh? All you crazy canooks!! Yes, Jan, that was for you, eh? lol!! :-P

Chelle }}i{{

And Then Buffy Staked Edward....

2009-06-30T16:10:00.001-07:00

Hehehehehe, since I love Buffy more than I'll ever love Twilight...I HAD to post this!!! It makes me giggled everytime....I hope they make a sticker soon!!!! So putting it on my new car!!!

My Wrecked Car Photos

2009-06-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

This is the car that hit me. The David to my Goliath. This is the driver's side, as you can see, I couldn't open my door, had to crawl through the passenger side.

Back left and back right sides. I have to order another "Coexist" religious sticker. I love that sticker!!! Plus, all my other funny ones I need to find again!! Plus the one that took me a hour to hunt through all the stickers in a eclectic shop in Nevada City...good luck getting that one again! It said "Stay Tuned" with music notes around it. :-)

And this is the side view of the driver's side. I'm so glad I was able to get out somewhere!!!

Xander Caught His First Fish!!!

2009-06-29T15:04:00.001-07:00

Doesn't he just look so proud! He was soooo excited when he caught it! He even helped me clean it!!

Aaron Found a Job!!

2009-06-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

So, Aaron found a job! Yea!! He will be taking care of his mentally degrading Grandma. Making sure she takes her meds, making sure this idiot that keeps siphoning money out of her doesn't come over. Things like that.

It's part time, but Aaron's really happy about it. He loves his Gma alot! She's truly a neat woman and I've had such a pleasure of knowing her!!! She's funny and sarcastic...just like me! :-)

Aaron did get a job offer at Walmart, but he would have to leave UPS. He can't leave UPS until after 8/4 when my boobie reduction is done! Then he's "free". I heard a friend call UPS the "Golden Handcuffs". B/c it sucks to work there after a while, but most people stay b/c the benefits are so damn good. He's right!

I also got hit-on by a former co-worker last night. He had been drinking and needed a room. He used to work security there. Being in the front desk, we work with security alot. I know most of the guys, and usually give them hugs. They're all kinda like my big brothers. :-)

Well, he knew I had a son, and I said, "hey, Xander caught his first fish!" he got all excited. He then said, "Wait a minute, you have a ring on?!" I said yes. He asked if I was married. I said yes, 6 years (in a month! lol) He got sad and said, "Well that really sucks!" I looked at him and said, "No, I don't think so." He said, "well, for me. Cause you're so nice....this always happens."

He left and I had to laugh, but I felt good about myself. Sometimes you need a little ego boost to say, "Yup, not just my hubby thinks I'm hot!"

Chelle }}i{{

Good News!!

2009-06-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

I'm soooo excited!!! On Aug 4th, I will be having my breast reduction surgery! Woohoo!!! The Dr is VERY confident it will help with my back and neck! I think so too!!!

I will post before and after pics (with a shirt on!! lol) I'm going from a GG (stands for Goodness Gracious!! lol) To a D (Stands for Delightfully perfect...hehehe)

It's been slow going on getting better. I'm a little miffed at my Attorney, as I sent over the document OVER a WEEK AGO and it's still hadn't been signed. It was a Lien so I could go to Physical Therapy. I haven't been since the accident and really need it!!

Anyhoo, we're going to the Rodeo Fairgrounds tonight and then off to see Transformers 2!!! Xander is SOOOOOO excited!!!

I hope to write more soon, when I back to being better, I'm planning to re-start my 101 goals. :-)

Love,
Chelle }}i{{

It's Been a While...

2009-06-11T01:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry, it's been a while, I can't seem to find my grove back...

And now, Aaron told me this morning, he got fired from FedEx. they told him it's because he works for UPS too. Which, we knew this might happen, being their rival companies....but it still comes as a surprise.

So, Aaron spent all day sending his resume to everyone. He's applied to just about everywhere.....now we wait...

It just sucks, we can never seem to catch a break, everytime we get some money saved up or try to go on vacation, etc, something pops up and we can't.

Anyhoo, time for bed! I haven't slept well in a few days, and I'm finally tired!!! Woohoo!

Chelle }}i{{

Starting to Get Back

2009-05-26T01:16:00.000-07:00

Ugh! Starting to get back in the swing of things!! I'm walking a little better today, although standing still and sitting still are still throwing me pretty bad.

It was Memorial Day today. Thanks to all those who have given their time, energy, loved ones and lives to this great land.

We went car shopping today and kept getting rejected by stupid dealers time and time again. It wasn't that we had bad credit, because we don't...it's because we weren't buying a car today. We are still waiting to see the majority of the loan paid off. I hate being treated like nothing. It's stupid. And it seems almost every car dealership I've ever gone to has been like that....except Toyota/Scion in Reno. We bought from a guy named Travis, about the same age as us, and he has always been awesome, courteous and flat out honest, something you don't really find in a car salesman.

We've told him straight up before what we can afford. He has always told us yes, or no...not "Come on in, we'll see if we can." only to try to sell you something else that you don't want.

So, after feeling a little frustrated, we went and saw him. Told him what's going on. Immediately he is running his brain trying to think of ways we can make this work, being the insurance company's really screwing us over. We eve talked about trading in Aaron's car for two used ones and seeing if that could keep us in our price range. He said he'd try to work on it and get back to us.

We were on our way to another city when we had the idea of "hey, let's try and re-finace the scion...lower the price, and then allowing extra room for my car"...we didn't have the toyota finance number, so we called Travis to get it. He didn't answer, but we left a message. Turns out, they were closed for the holiday.

But, about 7 tonight, he calls and talks to Aaron for about a half hour explaining, that our loan is actually less than the wholesale on out scion, and that we can actually get equity out of it and put it towards paying off the jeep. And in doing this, it will also lower our rates on the scion!

We got so giddy! Something is actually turning out okay on this! :-)

I'm gonna try and go talk to him tomorrow to get more details and see what we can do! :-)

As for now, I'm off to bed!!

Chelle }}i{{

Update on the Wreck

2009-05-25T01:38:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a week it had been! It's sucked, really sucked. I am walking like an 80 year-old woman, I squirm like Xander does in a chair, b/c I can't sit still for long.

I'm not working much, I'm trying, but it just hurts to stand for long periods, and that's what I do.

I have amazing friends and family that have giving me such great love and support.

I have been reading in Job alot, and that's been making me feel better. Plus, you know Xander makes my day. He's been such a little trouper in all of this!

Well, off to bed and to find a car tomorrow! Wish me luck!!!

Thanks for everything!!

Chelle }}i{{

Wrecked...My Car Was Totalled...With Me Still Inside!!!

2009-05-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

I WAS having a great day... until I was heading to work. I got rear-ended. It was an accident, through and through, everyone suddenly braked. I just got the shit end of the stick. (thankfully Xander was NOT in the car!!!)

Anyhoo, my Jeep Cherokee is totalled. I couldn't open the driver's side, I had to crawl through the passenger's side.

Thankfully a dear friend saw my car and pulled over. She was with me in the Ambulance and with me until Hubby could get there. She's was so awesome! That's a true friend right there! Drops everything to help out a friend in need!!!!

My neck and back started hurting, and they put me in a brace and sent me to the ambulance!
I was at the ER for a while. Good news, nothing broken! So, I know I'm going to hurt like hell tomorrow! Yeah! He gave me some good drugs, so hopefully I'll start feeling better soon.

Anyhoo, I'm okay, I hurt, I could use some more love this way!!!

And the meds are starting to kick in.............zzzzzzzz

Love,

Chelle

Having A Bad Day

2009-05-14T02:27:00.000-07:00

I'm having a REALLY bad day.... :-(

I hurt, I'm tired, and I'm scared....not a fun combo.....

And this is going to be a long rant, but I need to do it, so, please bear with me!

Well, it started a while ago, Hubby kept pushing (he didn't mean to) about having another kid. While I would LOVE to have another, I have so many scary thoughts and notions.

I had a great pregnancy until the 7th month, on Aug 2nd, 2005 (our second Anni, which makes even more memorable) We were coming back from Monterey, when I man rear-ended us. Hubby was fine, he was reclined and asleep...It was a "Low impact" being I was stopped and he was maybe going 30. Well, he was opening a bag of chips and didn't see that it was red. *Bam!*
And I've been pretty much miserable ever since. I try to stay upbeat and don't let the pain get to me, but sometimes, you just have to cry, you can't hold it in any longer!

My pain level used to be a 10 (10 being unbearable pain) at birth to now a constant 5. It's been 3 1/2 years of pills, injections, acupuncture, physical therapy, chiropractics, yoga, and I still hurt! Some days I can't pick up my son, and it just kills me when he looks at me and says before giving me a hug, "Mommy, how's your back? Is it hurting?" And then he'll hug me and lightly rub my shoulder.

We're also not too stable financially. We have a couple hundred in savings, but DH works 2 part-time jobs, and is going to school. I'm working a full time job nights, because we can't afford a babysitter. So, I don't seem my hubby, and b/c of my night hours, I tend to be crabby with Xander...I HATE IT!!! Pretty much, we need all paychecks to survive right now.

My fears about being preggers? And I did tell these fears to Hubby...but I'm still trying to figure out his reaction to my not being ready..

-I will hurt again the same way I did when I first got hit. That is my worst fear of all. I don't think I can emotionally handle that right now

-We don't have enough time to spend with the one we already have, why compound it?!

-What if I am sent to bed b/c I'm preggers? I have a history of High Blood Pressure (Yoga's the thing that actually took me off my meds for that!!). I will not be able to take ANY meds while preggers....There are days I can't move until my pain pills have kicked in. I will literally lay in bed Xander cuddle next to me watching a movie waiting to be able to feel good enough to move.

-Money-we're scraping by as is....the economy is such that no one's job is 100% secure! And to add diapers and formula (can't breast feed) on top is just crazy!!!!

-If I have to work, who's going to watch the two of them? My Mom-in-law watches my son for a few hours Wed, Thurs, and Fri until hubby gets home...She's dealing with an ADHD 9 year old, working part time at the elementary school, a twice over breast cancer survivor, oh, yeah, and she's dealing with her mom having Alzheimer's. Can I really ask her to add to her burden? I know she'd say yes....but, I don't know.

Star Trek!

2009-05-11T23:29:00.000-07:00

I have been anticipating this movie for a long time!!! I am a huge Trek fan, but not in the "Let's dress up and go to a convention and let's learn a language that doesn't exist." type of fan. Just I've seen all the original movies and LOVED Star Trek Next Generation!!!!

Might I say: Excellent!!!! I Loved it! Great movie!!

We all went to go see it and it didn't seem like it was a long movie at all.

I'm still getting used to my hours. One of these days! :-)

Aaron and xander did the annual Father-Son camp out with our church. They went to a place called dog valley. They had a great time! Grandpa went with them too. I got home from work and didn't know what to do with myself! lol

Anyways, have to get up early tomorrow! Dr. Appt!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Don't Judge a Book By It's Cover.....Or a Person!!!

2009-05-09T02:01:00.001-07:00

So, I work in a hotel, at the front desk. It is a large hotel, with nearly 2,000 rooms. We have travelers from all over the world come and visit! It's a truly neat experience.
We had a group of Muslims come in from Saudi Arabia today. I was so jazzed when I found out, as my folks used to live in Saudi.
Later that evening, sure enough, the group came in. The women were dressed beautifully! About half had their faces fully covered, the rest wore dressings on their head and shoulders.
At lunch time, a fellow co-worker, tells me, "Oh, I'm so scared to be working here tonight."
When I asked why, she said, "Because all these Indians in here."
"They're not from India, they're Muslim and from Saudi Arabia." I state, getting irritated knowing where it's about to lead....
"Well, they all look like terrorist. They probably are. I'm scared." She didn't look scared, but the way she looked was very condescending
The ironic thing about it? My co-workers from another country! Some of her ways are "weird" to me, but that's her, and that's her culture. Still respect her.
I tried to correct her on her errors. Explaining that in the Islamic faith, it is a SIN to kill. I explained that those who claim to be Muslim and then destroy life, are not Muslim, they are radicals. I explained that it is a very peaceful religion and they actually believe in some of the same prophets as Christians do.
In one ear and out the other. *sigh*
Sometimes it's one step forward and 15 steps back, you know?
*Anyways*
Had to vent!!!

Haven't Been On For a While!

2009-05-07T14:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry (mainly to myself) that I haven't been on for a while! Things are pretty hectic and I've started a new shift. It's really throwing me off!!! Two hours difference can be huge!

We played softball, and I tweaked my shoulder (go figure). It sucks not being able to do the same things you're use to doing!!

Aaron and I are talking about being Foster parents or even adopting...We want more kids, but I just hurt all the time. I don't want to hurt anymore!!

So, we're going to the Temple on Tuesday and see what happens!!

Chelle }}i{{

Ah, whatever day it is!! I started my new shift!!

2009-05-02T01:20:00.000-07:00

So, I started my new shift today. I'm working 4-12 midnight. I love it! It's a little busier, but it makes the day go by a lot faster!

Plus, in a couple of weeks, I should be all systems go and getting up earlier and STAYING UP!!! :-)

Which means, more time with Xander! Yeah!

Plus, I like the fact that I don't have to rush home just so Aaron can go to work.

Anyhoo, off to bed, I have softball in the morning!!! Two games!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 92 & 93 Weird Dream....or Was It?!

2009-04-28T04:37:00.001-07:00

Okay, so last, I get home, I'm tired and I go to bed. I don't know if it was a dream or not, but it sure made me feel just...scared

So, I saw this dark shadow/mist...I don't really know what to call it. It hit me, like went inside me. I did a full body jerk, and said "GET OUT!!!" in my head. "It" then was just hovering over me, pressing down on me. I could barely breathe and tried to move....but I couldn't! I was trapped!!! I couldn't speak or move!!! I knew it was bad and kept yelling, "GET OUT!!!" over and over in my head. Finally, it release, hit me one more time, I did another full body jerk and was able to move. I was sweating and just shaking. I almost woke up Aaron, that's how bad it scared me.

So, what do you think? I don't watch scary movies or anything...dream or not? I'm hoping it's a dream as it just scared the hell out of me.

Day 91 I'm tired...

2009-04-25T04:26:00.001-07:00

I'm tired, and that's about all that's coming out of me tonight.

Chelle }}i{{

Day 90

2009-04-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

Well, got some new meds to try from the dr. She gave me a long acting muscle relaxant and they want to do some new injections on me...maybe they'll work!

I'm just hoping to hear back soon on my breast reduction!!! Hopefully that will go through!!!

I'm waiting to get approval for my vacation in august, I can't do any planning until then for our trip! Darn it!!

Anyhoo, that's it for now! I'm starting to feel a little sleepy!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 90...nothing much

2009-04-22T22:58:00.001-07:00

Nothing much today. I was so tired I didn't wake up until late, even though I had a dentist appointment...lol

So, I called re-scheduled, and faxed some stuff for Aaron's school. Xander and I then went to the river. It was a beautiful day!!!!

Then, we went home, hung out for a few and then I went to softball practice....my shoulder's sore...going to regret it in the morning, good thing I have my injections tomorrow!!! Woohoo!!!

I'm excited and nervous, I need to talk to my dr so I can live life!!! My meds aren't working, so we'll see what she says!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 80-something....The Pains of Being a Mom

2009-04-22T01:11:00.000-07:00

So, I went to pick up some prescriptions today, an allergy med for Xander and 3 for me, one being my muscle relaxants that I'm out of....

Well, the price was a LOT!!! A couple of them, I could wait on, but the muscle relaxant and Xander's couldn't really wait.

Well, mine was still pretty pricey and so was his...and being Costco doesn't except credit cards except American Express....I had to choose.

So, of course, I chose Xander's....poor guy! He just has soooo much stuffiness!!!! And I have so much stiffness!lol

anyhoo, off to bed!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 87 and 88...I think Xander had a seizure!

2009-04-21T03:39:00.000-07:00

So, I got home from doing some visiting teach this afternoon, and I was really tired. So we grabbed a snack and headed for bed.

I was dozing while he was still watching a little t.v. I turned it off and he cuddled up and went to sleep. I continued to dose for a little bit, but couldn't go back to sleep....something was bugging me and I wasn't tired.

So, I'm just watching t.v. hoping to fall asleep....I look over at Xander and he was laying peacefully on his side. He then suddenly curled in the fetal position and started to shake. He shook for a good 2-3 seconds (maybe a little longer, it seemed like forever!) I was about to grab the phone when he stopped, woke and sleepily said, "I have to potty." He went potty and then came back and watched a little t.v. with me.

He didn't skip a beat, like nothing happened. He went on to play outside and everything!!!

Aaron thinks I'm over-reacting, but I want to call the Dr. in the morning and see what they say, they'll probably want to see him. Aaron says wait for the next one....if there is one. But the problem being, it was in his sleep...what if this wasn't the first time???!!!

Anyhoo, that was my day! Damn it, and I'm out of easy cheese!!! lol
Love
Chelle }}i{{

Day 85 First Guitar Performance!!!

2009-04-19T02:42:00.000-07:00

So, I sung and played my guitar at the church talent show! It was really fun!!!

I did the song Bubbly it worked out really well!!

Alright, off to bed!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 84 and 85....Overtime and Aftermath!

2009-04-18T01:58:00.000-07:00

I've worked over time today, a whole 11 hours!! yuck! But, I need the money, what else to do??

I'm finally feeling better after softball.....I woke up yesterday and could barely move!!! I went home last night and took a bath and headed to bed!

That's it for now, I have softball practice again in the a.m. but I'm going to stretch first!!! lol

Chelle }}i{{

Day 83 Feeling Better!! :-)

2009-04-15T23:49:00.000-07:00

So, I had my cry last night. Scared the hell outta Aaron. I think he thought I was checking out for good or something. Nope! Just having my moment. I told him that I have to put on a mask all the time for everyone to see. To have them see that I'm okay, even though I'm hurting all the time....And just every once in a while, I need that time to cry and say, No, everything is NOT okay. And then, I'm fine and better. I feel kinda cleansed. Does that make sense?

But, I had a good day, I went to Yoga. Had to go to the dentist and get a couple feelings....THAT was FUN!!! :-P I now have metal on metal and it's driving me nuts! I can only chew on my left side, so it's reduced me to soft things. I made banana pancakes for dinner.....YUM!!

I had softball practice tonight...that was awesome!!! I love playing softball! We have a few more practices and then it's game time!

I also went to my friends' house, we were practicing for sharing time on Sunday. I'm bringing my guitar! It's going to be soooo fun!!! The kids are performing at church on Saturday as well, and as luck would have it, I have it off!!! Yippiee!!!!! So, we're going to do something with the guitar too! It's going to be neat!

So all in all, great day!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 82...Bad Night

2009-04-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I was in a car wreck about three years ago, and still hurt. I try to have a strong face all the time, but some days, I just can't do it anymore...Some days I just want to give up completely. But I know I can't.... Anyhoo, this is my favorite song when I'm in my cry-mope-hurt day.It's by Linkin Park and it's called Given Up. It fits me so well some days.

Waking in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the heck is
Wrong with me?

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for hope somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the heck is
Wrong with me?

God!
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my ******* misery!

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the heck is
Wrong with me?

Day 81....Started My School Papers!!!

2009-04-14T02:10:00.000-07:00

So, I picked up my UNR transcripts!! I went over to TMCC and filled out my Degree Audit Report (DARS) and am just waiting for my BYU-Idaho transcripts....turns out, with UNR, I had 28 credits!! So I have a total of 91 credits going in to TMCC. Hopefully I'll only need a few classes to graduate!!! Woohoo!

I ran into my friend at TMCC, she was visiting her hubby there on his break from work. So afterwards, we went and took the kids to the park and had a good time!

I went back home and gave Koda a bath outside as he threw up in his kennel last night. And I thought after we cleaned it up, and aired out the house, everything will be fine. So, we went to sleep with a stench in the house and windows open. Woke up, and it turned out Koda had rolled in it too or something...yuck! So, he smells sooooo much better now!! lol

Anyhoo, off to get my FASA paperwork in!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 80..Happy Easter!!!

2009-04-13T00:40:00.000-07:00

Or so it would seem....

As most of you know, I have a bad neck/shoulder/back...etc. I get injections in my back monthly and also am on a slew of pain meds...I hate it....I hate it with a fiery passion....but I also know I'm not able to go without them, and that just sucks.

So, I've been on vicodine for a few years now...and it hasn't worked in a while...pretty much all it does is give a good enough buzz, that even though I'm hurting, I really don't care about it. I'm afraid to talk to my Dr. about it, because I'm afraid of being labeled a drug addict, even though I'm soooo not!

I was talking to a friend, who has the same kinda crap going on (her's is mainly migraines). And we're always talking about pain and pain management. She's been on a little heavier dosages, but then her Dr. put her on an extended pill....she LOVES it!!! She's not in pain AND she doesn't have that fuzzy/grogginess about her that I've seen before and have experienced. She told me I need to go to my dr and talk about this. She was in the same boat when her hubby said, "Why don't you tell your dr. If you don't, they can't fix you." And he was right.

So, I was talking to Aaron about it, telling him everything (something I stopped doing with my pain b/c he doesn't seem to understand) and I asked him what he thought. He said he didn't care, whatever would help me...and then added that he was sick of it...When I asked him what he meant by that, he was drawing a blank like he never said it.

He then went on to say that I'm yelling at Xander alot, he's noticed this week. I told him first of all, between the two of them, they were driving me absolutely nuts! I was going insane. The second thing was I've about had it some days with Xander. I start off in a happy mood with him, and then after a few time outs and not listening, it seems like the only thing he'll pay attention to is yelling. And I hate it....so that made things worse too.

Anyways, just a crappy day after church. *sigh* whatever. Stupid man...good thing I love him to death....

Chelle }}i{{

Day 79....Pre-Easter Day

2009-04-12T03:30:00.000-07:00

So, today was a nice, normal day....I prepped a turkey and dropped it off at the in-laws for tomorrow/ I had asked Aaron to pick up a DVD for Xander for Easter....meaning the bunny would give it to him in a basket....

Good day at work, busy, slow, pretty uneventful....

I get home and wake up Aaron to ask where the movie is so I can put it in the basket....he goes, "oh, it's by the TV, we already watched it.....WHAT?!!!!

So, I just finished rummaging through the garage for some re-gifting items he's forgotten about....

Thankfully, I was able to find a few things! Grrrr!!! It just kinda irritated me! *sigh* whatever! It's done, can't turn back the clock....lol

Happy Easter Everyone!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 78....Going Bonkers!!!

2009-04-11T03:06:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up, Xander got up REALLY early today...Aaron got home from Fed-ex, (on vacation from UPS) and was wide awake. So, I tired to get some sleep while heckle and jeckle were awake....yeah, that didn't work!

They had the t.v. blaring and Aaron kept poking Xander....so I kept hearing a "Buzzing" sound from Aaron and Xander with annoyed grunts and whines telling his daddy to stop.

I finally grabbed my pillow and slept on the couch.

Aaron's on vacation, and it's been like I have two three-year-olds in the house. Aaron starts all this crap, and Xander doesn't like it, and he whines. It's driving me freakin' nuts!!!

I hate to say it, but I'll be glad when Aaron goes back to work...he's said I was kinda grumpy from time to time this week....REALLY?! I'm freaking dealing with shit that's about to make me go postal or send a note saying "I'm off to my happy place, I'll see you in a few days."

AGH!!!!

Okay, I'm done, my vent is over.....until the next vacation! lol

Chelle }}i{{

Day 77 Buying a House (maybe) and College Stuff

2009-04-10T00:27:00.000-07:00

So, it's just another day here. Although Aaron and I were pretty lazy today...I did manage to get up to TMCC (Truckee Meadows Comm. College) to see about what I needed to get back there.

So, I pulled up my unofficial transcripts from BYU-I (Brigham Young University, Idaho), and I was right! I have 63 credits total!!! And that's not including the 1 1/2 years I spent at UNR (University of Nevada, Reno)!!!! I think add about 17 more credits and we're good! I think I might be really close to graduating!!! woohoo!!!!

Then afterwards, I swung by BofA, and they said I'd need 20% down for a house loan....screw that!!!!!

So, I went to see an old friend I haven't seen in a long time at a real estate place...She's no longer there, but I was able to get the help I needed!!

I'm calling the broker tomorrow to talk shop! Who knows?! We might be able to buy our house soon!!!! And it'd be cheaper too!!! Yea!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 75, Going Back to School

2009-04-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

So, I think I'm going back to school. I tried the medical transcriptioning thing, and what I found, is that it doesn't have a due date...it's just, when you're done, you're done....

That doesn't help me. I need to have a due date on papers, etc, or I'll just put them off. I'm a full time mom and a full time employee for someone else. I find and HAVE a million and one things to do that need to be done and need it done now...

I want to be successful, I want to finish something I started....I need to.

Chelle }}i{{

Day 74 Asthma Attack....

2009-04-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

I had a horrible asthma attack at work. So bad I had to down two cups of coffee b/c my inhaler wasn't cutting it....

So, I'm home now. I'm still having asthma, and I'm a little wired...

I hate this...I did get a shot for my allergies today, so hopefully in a day or two I'll feel better. :-)

Day 74...General Conference

2009-04-05T23:27:00.001-07:00

I'm a little sad, I was soo tired today I didn't get to listen to all of conference. I kept falling asleep. I can't wait for the Ensign to come out!!!

And Aaron's giving me that look...better go!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 73...Ouch and Going Back to School

2009-04-05T00:44:00.000-07:00

Having a really bad day today. Just hurting. I woke up and could barely move. Some drugs and a few yoga stretches later and I was feeling slightly better.

Fast and the Furious came out today...Aaron has been drooling for this movie. So we headed to the movies. I was okay during the movies.

Hurt at work too...and was able to get out a little early without feeling too bad about it. I did over 50 dollars in upsells tonight, so that covered my skipping out early.

Aaron and I were talking about school for me tonight. I think I might do it. Live on student loans for a little while...I don't think I could do school and a full time job again....that's not fun!!!! But at least I'll be able to do something else....We'll see.

Chelle }}i{{

Day 72...I had Gizmo Turn Into a Gremlin Today...

2009-04-04T02:42:00.000-07:00

That would be my son. We were re-financing a loan of ours this morning to get a better percentage rate, and well, Xander was PERFECT!!! He was a darling little angel! I told him, b/c he was good, that we'd go to lunch, maybe get McD's or something.

He choose, McD's, of course! Well, it wasn't quite lunch time, we had to take Aaron home before work, drop the check to the Landlord, and get him some new clothes. So, we dropped Aaron off, picked up Xander's old clothes and headed out. We met with the Landlord, dropped the check off, had to run to the bank, and then to the clothing store.

At the bank and the clothing store is when all hell broke loose. He wanted to sit on the counter by me, I told him okay, as long as he didn't touch anything...first thing? he goes for the fingerprint thing at the bank...then kept wanting her calculator. I finally set him down, and he started crying. He stopped and gave him one more chance....

Then the clothing store, it's a used kids clothing and toys place. I had to wait in line to trade in his old clothes, (he had a three inch growth spurt over night!!!). As soon as he hit the door, he started running for the toys. I asked him to stop and come back, as the toys would be out of my sight....he didn't listen after two attempts to call him back, I went over, and dragged him back to the counter. I explained that maybe after we shop, he can go play, but until then, no touching.

Of course, there was touching!! Everything! All the clothes on his level were not the right size, and he would try and grab the hanger and all and show me, "I like this mommy!" only to pull it off the hanger. Now, it was cute the FIRST time, and put it back, explained, and went on. This kept happening, so I told him he couldn't play afterwards. He started to cry and yell. I told him if he didn't stop, he was going to loose McD's at this point. He dried right up.

Then we got to the counter where you could see all the toys hanging out...."MOMMY...mommy! Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY!!!!! I told him he lost his chance to go play. He started crying again. I took him outside while the girl was ringing me up and told him he needed to stop. He didn't....so I took McD's away.

And that's when the shrieking and crying happened. ALL the way home!! He even woke from his nap talking and crying about McD's.

It was like throwing water on the cute and cuddly Gizmo and having an evil Gremlin attack you.

And then I had work....woohoo.

Chelle }}i{{

Day 70 and 71. Still Sick and It's Snowing!!

2009-04-03T00:21:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I've had this damn cold now for freakin' EVER!! I'm soooo sick of it! My nose won't stop draining!

And it's snowing outside! It was freakin' 50 degrees and now it's snowing!!! WTH?!

Anyhoo, I'm kinda in the mood to clean my house. Weird, I know. Go figure!

So, I think I'm going put on some Sarah McLachlan and clean!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 69...A Fun Concert

2009-04-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

A friend that has been out of town for a couple came back into town and called me up. She wanted to know if I wanted to go see this band tonight called Audrey Sessions. She knows that bass player and thought it would be fun.

Indeed it was! The bass players name is Alex. She's a hoot! We talked alot about everything. We even swapped phone numbers and I gave her my e-mail address too. They are signed with RCA. I talked to her about the songs I write and she wanted to see them. She asked if I could send them to her!

I got really excited! This might be the opportunity I've been looking for! I just need to copyright my stuff first before I send them to her.

Anyways, it's late and I have yoga in the morning.

Talk to you soon!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 87 Three Day Weekend!!! Woohoo

2009-03-31T00:14:00.000-07:00

Was forced out of work early tonight and it's a 3 day weekend for me! Woohoo!

I'm planning to go to yoga in the a.m. and then be out in the yard (supposed to be beautiful!!!) and start prepping for my garden.

Have a good night!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 67, Finally Feeling a Little Better

2009-03-30T03:22:00.000-07:00

Feeling a little better tonight finally. I rested all day and missed church. I did go to work, but again wanted to call in. This cold has just knocked me for a loop! Ugh!

I need to get feeling better. I need to get back on my bike and start practicing the mountain bike trail for the race next month!!!

We'll see!!

Aaron's watching Fast and the Furious right now...he's gearing up for the 4th Fast and Furious..it's with the cast from the first. He's soooo excited! :-)

Chelle }}i{{

Day 66...FUNNY STORY!!!!!!

2009-03-29T00:59:00.001-07:00

So, I'm horribly sick. I was supposed to help a good friend of mine's in-laws move....but I just couldn't! I'm feeling a little better this evening, but I still feel like crap!

But, I dragged my carcass into work today, and I'm soooo glad I did!! Here's the funniest damn story! I think this is the best check-in story I've ever had!!

Alright, so I'm checking in a lady at work today and she mentioned she was at The Emergency Room. I asked her what happened.

She looked sheepish, and then her friend interjected with this:

She was at 7-11, and they were having a Slurpee. The woman drank the Slurpee too fast, had a brain freeze and fainted.

When she fell, she broke her nose and hit her head!

HAHAHHAHAHA!!! The only reason I'm laughing is because she's okay. Alright, if she wasn't okay, I still would have laughed my head off!!!

And yes, true story, you can't make this stuff up!!!

Well, that's it for now, so I'm going to hit the hay!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 65 An Interesting Phone Call....

2009-03-28T03:21:00.000-07:00

So, I'm at work, and I left my cell in the car. On my lunch, I went to go retrieve it. Right as I pick it up, the phone rings.... (I'm in italics, the other person is in BOLD)

Hello?
Hey, how are you
Good
Can you come over? I need to talk to you.
Uh, sorry, but who is this?
It's Sissy
(My sisters' name)?
Yeah, what the F**k? (In a sarcastic way)
uh, sorry, didn't recognize your voice, you sound sick
Yeah, I am. alot has happened, can you come over? I need to talk to you.
Well, uh, yeah sure. I'm at work though and don't get off until 2.
That's fine, 2 will be okay.
Okay, well, I don't have your address, can you give it to me?
yeah, it's 1256 Jedidiah.
Reno or Sparks? (silence) How do I get there?
You're coming from Vista, right? (a street near my house)
Yes
Turn Right on Goldy (another street near me) and Left on Jedidiah.
**I was about to ask her when did she move to Sparks, when I heard a click.
So, wrong number or is this my sister who I haven't talked to in over a year?!!?!?!?!?!
This is a new number for me (about 3 months), but the previous owner was a guy named Mitch. But there was just too many weird similarities to not be someone I know....and she could have got my number from a few places. And I couldn't call back b/c it was a restricted #...so, wow....

ADVICE?!?!?!?!

Day 64 VERY Tired, But Fun Day!

2009-03-27T02:59:00.001-07:00

...Well sorta. I had a lot planned, and then Xander woke up at 3 a.m. and didn't go back to bed for me when I was able to sleep.

I went to Yoga, and physical therapy...both times he was asleep, once with Gma and the other, Aaron.

I was able to finish canning the rest of my cans, (they let me after I told them they shorted me 10 cans). So, I finished canning and took it back.

We ate lunch at the park and played until I was dizzy from lack of sleep. Finally we went home, and while I was taking care of some more things at home, he feel sleep.

I tried to sleep, but it was so late, that I only got about 15 mins before heading out the door for relief society. But we had so much fun!! We played board games and it was sooo much fun.

Then, when I got home, Xander was FINALLY awake and bright-eyed and bushy tailed...I'm thinking great, another late night.

But, I had to swing by the hospital, my neighbor just had neck surgery...she's a really woman, and I'm trying to work hard to smash her previous reserves about Mormons on how their family was treated, especially b/c they are interracial. Who cares??!!

And then I took another cat nap and we went and saw the midnight showing of Monsters Vs. Aliens. It was so freaking funny!!!

And I keep falling asleep and typing....

Night!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 63....Canning

2009-03-26T00:47:00.000-07:00

So, I finished all of my canning for my food storage.....well, all that I COULD. I paid for 98 cans, lids, etc. And I only received 88 cans and 93 lids. So, I couldn't finish it all.

But I had fun. A friend stopped by and we talked while our sons played and Aaron was asleep. She would hand me lids. :-)

Anyhoo, that's about it. I'm tired, I've been up since 6 this morning. I'm tired!!!

Chelle }}i{{

Nights in Rodanthe...Spoil Alert

2009-03-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I NEVER saw the Notebook, well I fell asleep watching it. And when I woke up, Aaron was in tears...so I've refused to watch it ever since, b/c I HATE TO CRY!! Not b/c of it itself, it gives me a horrid migraine afterwards.

So, Nights in Rodanthe came out and it sounded like a nice, sappy movie. Oh my goodness!! She FINALLY finds happiness and true love, and he dies!!! Are you freaking kidding me?!

And I know the gist of Notebook, she has Alzheimer's and he's telling the story of them, and then they die at the end together. REALLY!?

I asked Aaron what was wrong with this guy, he said, "He's just a romantic..." I looked at him and said, How is this romantic? Did the guy get dumped and now wants everyone else to be miserable? B/c that's how the movie ended. I mean, yeah, she changed her life around...but he still dies and they can't be together for a very long time.

And now I'm trying to watch some old Law & Order SVU episodes, and I can't find it on that new Hulu.com. So, that makes me pissed. And I'm usually not home on Tuesdays, so I was all excited about getting to watch it tonight...yeah, not on tonight, so now I'm extra pissed. *oh well!*

But Nights in Rodanthe, not a cool movie! Avoid it! *Hisses*

Chelle }}i{{

Day 61

2009-03-24T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well, still have the fun cold. I'm having a sinus headache. blah!

I was running to Costco, and had an eye on a spot...well, some chick beat me to it. I was like, agh! But I saw a spot right across from there. While I was backing in, I looked at the woman that just got out of the car...it was an old friend from church who I hadn't seen in forever!!

I roll down my window and holler at her. We laughed and hugged. It was good to see her again! :-)

I just need to get my canning done. I have only two more days. :-)

Alright, peace out!

Chelle }}i{{

Day 61...still sick

2009-03-23T23:51:00.000-07:00

But it's a three-day weekend, so I'm looking on the bright side of it, especially since I'm drugged on cold meds and Aaron just rented Nights in Rodanthe and bought a big package of the new "Crazy Color Skittles". So, I'm going to relax, eat my candy and enjoy a movie and slowly drift off to sleep. :-)

That's about it today, just glad I'm finally warm!!

Chelle }}i{{